Falling
by xXAshe.Kurosaki.Xx
Summary: The four turtles, named after four famous renaissance artists Leonardo, Donatello, Raphael, and Michelangelo, are more then just turtles. They're mutants, teenagers, and they're ninjas. Feelings towards one another are on the rise, and have become a problem for two in particular. A rather big problem, actually, that gets in the way of one major battle against the Shredder himself..
1. Chapter 1

Life as they knew it ended the moment Leonardos' swords fell at his feet. The three men watched hopelessly as their leader and brother fell, his body weak, broken and bloody. Raphael ran forwards, anger and raw pain in his eyes as he locked on his target, the one and only Shredder. He let out a scream of anger as he flew forwards, death in his purpose. The Shredder let out a loud and triumphant laugh, grabbing the blinded male and throwing him effortlessly to the side. Raphael hit the brick wall with a sickening crack and crumpled on the floor, gasping. Donatello and Michelangelo spared but a glance before running forwards, only to be thrown off like big, green ragdolls like Raphael before them.

The Shredder stood, smirking underneath his helmet and taking in the triumph of having finally defeated his most hated enemies. He threw his head back and howled with laughter, reaching up and pulling his helmet off, drinking in the sight and sounds of pain and eventual death.

He walked forwards to the blue masked turtle laying in a pool of his own blood, and kicked the body, laughing once again as he fell lifelessly.

"You see this, you wretched things?" he guffawed, eyes glinting maliciously as he looked at the other three turtles, "This was your fate. This has always been your fate. Tragic, isn't it?" he said with false sympathy.

Two foot ninjas appeared behind the silver monster, silently standing and taking in the sight. Raphael struggled to his hands and knees, holding for a second before his body gave out and he tumbled back to the ground. The three of them were bleeding profusely, broken and bruised. But none of them looked as bad as Leonardo, who was all but dead. He was barely breathing, and his blue bandanna lay in tatters a few feet back. Donatello, tears mixing with the blood on his face, coughed and pulled himself up against the wall, knees shaking as he struggled to hold his weight. The Shredder laughed, his laughter echoed by the ninja behind him.

"Well, this is just perfect," he said smugly, crossing his arms over his chest and staring at the four turtles, "You're all fighting so hard against destiny. But you can't win. I have won. I have finally won, and while I would love to stand here and watch the lives drain out of the rest of you, I have the last of your mess to clean up before I can truly bask in my glory."

He stepped forwards, making sure to step over the oldests' body, moving closer to the remaining three. He leaned forwards, bending down and, in a velvety voice, murmured, "Goodbye, turtles. It will be a pleasure to leave you all here to die."

With a final laugh, he stood and disappeared into the night, followed by the two ghosts behind him.

Time seemed to crawl by slower then a snail to Raphael. He was in so much pain that he could no longer feel anything. He felt pathetic, to put it mildly. He couldn't move, he could barely breathe, and all that he could do was lay there and stare at Leonardo. Stare at his brother and will him closer. Will him into his arms. He could feel Donatello breathing beside him, feebly, yes, but still very much alive. Michelangelo was no where in sight, but he could hear his youngest brothers whimpering. But the longer he lay there staring, the more it came to his attention that his brothers were dying. His family was dying, and he wasn't doing anything to help.

Like a lightning bolt to the heart, he shot to attention, slowly pushing himself up ignoring the pain and the dizzyness and blood, and he rushed forwards towards Leonardo, his body falling under the force of his movement. He fell to his hands and knees and forced himself to crawl, letting out a strangled groan at the pain radiating through his body. He reached Leonardo and grabbed his brother.

"Leo..." he rasped, pulling himself up into a sitting position, "Leo, fuck...w-wake up..." he groaned, pulling his head in his lap.

At the sound of his brothers voice, Leonardo's eyes fluttered open, painfully slowly. He coughed, the action itself sending visible ripples of pain through his body. Raphael's eyes welled up, both from pain and his brothers' state. Leonardo stared upwards, his once light and alive brown eyes now dull and bloodshot.

"R-Raph..." he mumbled, his voice barely above a whisper.

Despite the pain it caused, Raphael leaned forwards to hear him better, "Yeah?" He asked softly, holding back his sobbing. He knew what was coming. He could feel it.

"I-I...love...you.." he whispered.

His voice was so soft that Raphael almost didn't hear him. But he did. And if anything, that confession hit him harder then any blow from the battle they had just been through. He couldn't speak, his mouth feeling like it was full of cotton and his throat as though it were constricted. Leonardo coughed loudly, blood spurting from his throat and splattering Raphaels' neck and collarbone. He didn't care; he just held Leonardo tighter against him, willing him to hold on, just hold on.

"Raph..Raph listen to me," Leonardo rasped, his voice louder and suddenly stronger. He reached one shaky hand up, grabbing his brothers cheek roughly and pulling him closer, "Raph, you need to...t-to take care of our family...d-don't let it...die..." he said, struggling to speak, to hold Raphael's cheek.

"I will, Leo...I will...With you," he said firmly, "Leo, you ain't ducking out of this now. Just hold on...Please, Leo, just fucking hold on..."

Raph waited a few minutes for an answer, only realize he was talking to a corpse. He let out a ragged scream, no longer aware of what was around him. So blinded by his grief and pain, he knew not that his two other brothers had collapsed beside him.

The four lay there, grief and death hovering over them like a suffocating blanket. Michelangelo lay against Donatello, crying silently in his arms, the sounds of crying and ragged screams piercing the night.

Hours passed; raw sobs diluted to soft whimpering and sniffles. They huddled closer, over Leonardo's body, keeping warm. They were weak from bloodloss, dehydration, pain and exhaustion, and simply breathing felt as thought they had swallowed knives. Raphael bowed over Leonardo's body, shaking and clinging helplessly. This couldn't be happening; there was no way. It wasn't possible; he had drank too much again last night and was having one of this terrifyingly real dreams that he would wake up from perfectly safe. He'd walk into the lair and find Leonardo meditating as usual, Michelangelo gaming and Donatello retreating into his laboratory, working on another confusing experiment, and Splinter in his quarters. None of this would have happened. They would be safe and alive.

As he slowly passed out, he took refuge in this little dream.

As he was drifting, he heard shouting from somewhere behind him. He felt his brothers moving, heard them say something. He tried to move, to see what was going on, but the darkness had already grabbed ahold of him and was dragging him down without remorse. He couldn't fight it. But he tried, oh God he tried. That damned monster! He killed Leonardo. He destroyed their home. He ruined everything he knew and loved, and now the asshole was back to take the rest of his family. He couldn't allow this. He wouldn't...stop...fighting...

"We have to find them! Casey, DRIVE FASTER!" April shrieked, her red hair in frantic waves around her pale face. Her eyes were wide with fear and panic, which only added to Casey's own fear. He hated seeing her like this, and he hated that this was happening. If he EVER got his hands on that metal fucktard, he would...

"There!" Came a feeble yet firm voice from the back.

He swerved a hard left and squealed into an alley. April jumped out before the van stopped moving, followed quickly by Master Splinter, his robes tattered and his dark fur matted with dirt and blood. He parked the van, turned it off and pocketed the keys before jumping out and running after the already in motion two before him. They had arrived just in time, Casey gathered. They could hear the Shredder speaking. He was laughing now, and as they neared the building they were atop of, he and his two lackeys jumped across the alley to the neighboring rooftop. The three of them stared at each other and an unspoken plan forming. Without a word, Splinter took off upwards, scaling the building, while Casey and April tore into the apartment, climbing the stairs to the roof at top speed. Thank God it was the dead of night, or else they might had run into people and this wouldn't have gone well.

As they climbed to the top, they threw open the door and stopped dead in their tracks. The four turtles, who had become like a second family to them, lay in a bloody heap, barely recognizable. Master Splinter carefully knelt beside his sons, his shoulders hunched forwards suddenly with such pain and age that Casey's heart clenched. April let out a soft cry and ran forwards, falling to her knees beside the huddle. Casey made his way over slower, still trying to wrap his mind around what was happening. It wasn't until April stood and shakily made her way into his arms that he knew something was terribly wrong...other then a battle obviously lost.

"He's dead..." she whispered, shaking as she collapsed into sobs.

Casey was floored. His arms wrapped around the woman before him, his eyes locked on the scene before him. Three were huddled over the fourth, and over Aprils sobs he could hear theirs, their heartbroken cries breaking his heart.

Splinter glanced up, his eyes glassy and glistening with tears, "We have to get them home," was all he said, his voice soft.

So the three of them, through their tears, hoisted the turtles and carefully brought them down and into the van. It was harder then usual, they were in so much pain they could barely move. Casey ended up carrying them two at a time down and into the back of the van, taking special care with Leonardo's delicate body and limp body. He was cold. Casey refused to stare into the turtle's lifeless face...the very face that had been laughing a mere three days ago. He couldn't believe this.

The drive home was quiet that was only breached by the occasional sobs and whimpers. They arrived at Casey's cabin; they had all agreed that it would be safer then April's apartment. Besides, April spent more time at his cabin then his apartment anyways. They parked and unloaded the turtles; Donatello, Raphael and Michelangelo were guided upstairs into the spare bedroom, and Leonardo was placed on the couch gently. April stood in the kitchen, nursing a warm cup of tea that Splinter had made for her. He sat across from April and didn't look up when Casey entered. He walked quietly to the counter and made himself some coffee, staring at the sugar for a moment before sitting down and drinking it straight. They sat there silently for what felt like an hour, before April stood up and mumbled something about going to sleep. Casey and Splinter watched as she left the kitchen silently. Once she left, the silence was now pregnant with awkwardness. Casey shifted and looked up at Splinter.

"Would you like some coffee?" he asked gently.

Splinter simply shook his head, staring at some far away point behind the kitchen that Casey didn't see. He fell quietly and lifted his mug to his mouth, tilting it to drink and realizing it was empty. He stood to pour himself some more.

"Leonardo...he's gone. My son.."

Casey blanched at the break in the usually calm and collected males' voice. He was uncomfortable; he had no idea what to do to try and comfort that elderly father in his kitchen, so he remained silent, listening as Splinters' breathing accelerated, catching gently here and there.

"I could...have saved him. I could have spared my sons this...this pain."

Casey reached into the cupboards and pulled out another mug, filling it with the remaining coffee and setting it in front of the rat. Splinter looked up at Casey and nodded a thank you, his eyes unseeing. Casey's eyes stung as he sat down across from Splinter, sipping at the now tepid coffee. They fell silent once again for a while, before Splinter stood, murmured a goodnight and shuffled from the room.

Casey sat there alone for what felt like eons, but still the night wore on, dark and cold as ever but he didn't grab a jacket. He downed his coffee, grabbing the two mugs left on the table as well as his own and rinsing them. He left them in the sink and looked around him at his kitchen. It seemed...bigger then usual, and a lot darker and colder. He shivered and padded from the kitchen, turning the light off as he did so. Taking a deep breath, he cautiously walked into the living room and stopped. In the sliver of moonlight that streamed into the living room, he could see Leonardo's body laying on the couch, and a small figure curled up on the floor beside the couch. His eyes softened and he walked over to the figure, throat constricting as he picked April up into his arms. She shifted, letting out a small sob in her sleep and letting Casey carry her into his room. He couldn't tell if she was awake or not as he lay her on the bed and tucked her in. He pulled his shirt off and kicked his jeans across the room, crawling underneath the covers. April moved closer to him and he welcomed her into his arms.

Now, he let the tears escape. Quietly as he could, he closed his eyes and let them fall.

Nothing would be the same from here on out.


	2. Chapter 2 - The Aftermath

**_"I bet you think you're some kinda hero, don't cha?" Raphael asked harshly, glaring at the blue masked turtle standing in front of him._**

 ** _Leonardo shook his head and laughed a humourless laugh, "No. I really don't."_**

 ** _Raphael paused and stared at his brother; he hadn't expected that. He had expected Leo to get angry and start yelling or lecturing Raph as usual. He hadn't expected...well, that. He was floored for a moment; in that moment Leonardo just shook his head and walked away._**

 ** _Why did he let him walk away. Why didn't he run after him. Raphael's head and arms suddenly hurt, but he still reached forwards to try and grab Leo back, to apologize, to hold him. He couldn't let him slip away!_**

 ** _"Leo!" he called frantically. He tried to run but he couldn't; he was frozen, "Leo! Wait! I'm sorry! Come back!"_**

Raphael woke with a start, bolting up and immediately regretting it. Pain shot through everything. There wasn't a single part of his body that wasn't in pain. His tail hurt. His shell hurt. Everything. He let out a strangled gasp, and as soon as his lips parted, nausea swept through him. He had enough time to bend over the side of the bed before his stomach emptied its' pitiful contents, thankfully, into the garbage can beside the bed. He coughed, eyes swimming with tears. His head felt like it was going to explode and his mouth was dry and fuzzy despite the vomit. Coughing and gagging again, he made sure his stomach had emptied itself then lay back down, staring up at the ceiling. He was disoriented; why was he in so much pain? Where was he? He knew he wasn't hungover; he was in way too much pain for that. He wasn't in his bed, he wasn't even in April's apartment. So where was he? He was staring up at a wood ceiling, and he could faintly make out the smell of pine and rain through the vomit and sweat permeating the area. He took a shaky breath and sat up, this time slowly and carefully. Once he had brought himself up, he swung his legs over the edge of the bed and suppressed a groan at the pain. He took a moment to gather himself, before attempting to stand. Three tries later, he was on his feet. He was shaky, and he was in an immense amount of pain, but he barely noticed. Memories were flooding back to him; He had to know if it had just been a dream. It had to be. There was no way Leonardo, out of all of them, could be dead. Slowly, he trudged across the room. He knew where he was now; Casey's cabin. How he had gotten there was a mystery to crack another day.

He had just cleared the doorway when he heard a muffled sound from the room beside him. Eyes narrowing, he changed course and shuffling to his left, standing outside of the door and listening.

"-can't be up yet. Out of the three of us he got hit hardest. He's already been out for 4 damn days!"

That was Casey. He heard a deep cough and another voice, harder to discern, rose.

"You'd be surprised. He's stubborn."

That was Donnie. Suppressing a cough, he grabbing the door handle with a shaky hand and pushed the door open, halting their conversation. In the room, Donatello was sitting up in his bed, a garbage can by his bed and an assortment of bandages all over the visible half of his body. Casey sat in a wood chair beside the bed, his hair tied back in a pony tail at the nape of his neck and wearing only a white muscle shirt and a pair of black boxers. They turned and looked at the door, their eyes widening in a fashion that would have been hilarious under different circumstances.

"Raph!" Casey exclaimed, shooting up from his chair and rushing over.

Raph waved him away at first, but his legs started shaking rather violently and he ended up giving in and leaning on his friend. Casey lead him to the chair he had been sitting on moments before, and Raph sat staring at Donatello. He had lost weight, and his skin was pale and drawn. He looked like hell. He vaguely wondered how badly he looked.

"When did you wake up?" Donatello asked, his eyes wide with worry.

"Jus' now," Raph said, his voice cracking from three days disuse.

Casey pulled another chair out from the desk to their right and sat on Raph's other side.

"How do you feel?" Donnie asked.

"Like beaten shit." Raph stated roughly.

Both Donnie and Casey snorted with amusement. The three sat silently for a moment, before Raphael decided to ask them the very thing he had been trying to find out. "Hey, what the hell happened? Why are we here and so beaten? Where's Mikey and Leo?"

Both Casey and Donnie blanched and glanced at each other.

"You don't remember?" Donnie asked carefully, to which Raph shook his head hesitantly.

Donnie opened his mouth to speak but was cut off by a gentle rapping on the door. The three turned around to see April standing in the doorway. She looked terrible; her hair was unwashed and dark circles had made their home under her eyes. Her hair was tied up in a messy bun, and she was wearing a pair of Casey's boxers and a tank top. In her hands she carried four water bottles and a towel over her shoulder. When her eyes met Raphs, they started glistening, and Raphs' heart sank. She forced a small smile and walked in, her voice painfully cheery.

"You're awake, Raph!" She handed him a water bottle, smiling, "I was starting to worry."

She handed two more to Donnie and Casey, and kept the other one.

"How are you feeling?" She asked carefully.

Raph sighed. He had a feeling he'd be asked that a lot today. He nodded his head and took a grateful sip of the cool water. His throat loosened up a bit and his lungs relaxed slightly. His stomach growled loudly and painfully, and April smiled, bouncing on a chance to leave.

"You sound hungry. How does some soup sound?" she asked, glancing at Donatello and Casey as well. They all nodded and she smiled, mumbling something about dropping the last bottle of water off next door and getting started on the food. They watched her shuffle out and Raph turned back to the other males in the room.

There was an uncomfortable silence in which the all stared off into different areas of the room. Donnie pursed his lips, Casey cleared his throat and Raph let out a loud and slightly irritated sigh.

"What do you remember?" Donatello finally asked warily, staring at the younger male.

Raph let out the breath he had been holding through his teeth and shrugged, crossing his arms over his chest and wincing from the pain.

"I remember Shredder...and fighting. I remember he said we lost, and I remember ...Leo." He fell silent at that, the air heavy around him.

"Is that it...?" Donnie asked carefully.

Raph shrugged a bit. See, he did remember. He just...didn't want to believe it. He was waiting for them to say it.

"Well..." Donnie started hesitantly, "Shredder did beat us. He beat us pretty badly, then left us for dead. You crawled to where Leo was and Mikey and I followed. You were shouting Leo's name and hugging him and we..." Donnie's voice caught, and Casey picked up where he had left off.

"April, Splinter and I had already been on our way. We came just as Shredder and the foot left. When we came up, you guys were in a circle and Leo was...already gone. We grabbed you guys, got you into the van and drove here. We've been getting you guys back up to health since."

Raph's head spun painfully. So it was real. Leonardo was really... He couldn't even think of the word.

"Where's Splinter?" he asked softly.

Donnie and Casey exchanged looks and fell silent for a moment, before Casey mumbled, "We don't know. The last time we saw him, he was at your bedside, watching you. Next thing we know...he's gone. Without a trace. He's been gone for almost three days now."

Raph's heart clenched painfully, "And Mikey?"

"He's fine," Donnie said quickly with a small smile, "April's been taking care of him. He's awake, but he can't walk quite yet."

Raphael nodded his head and paused before saying the next thing on his mind, "And where did you take Leo's...body?"

Casey cleared his throat softly, "Don't worry about that. We have everything under control...We're setting things up to have a memorial when you guys are feeling better."

Raphael narrowed his eyes slightly but decided there was nothing about this he couldn't trust. He nodded his head and stared up at the ceiling, his mood suddenly turning dangerous.

"When I get my hands on him..."

"Whoa, dude. Just focus on getting back into good health before planning anything, yeah?" Casey said quickly, eyebrows furrowing.

Raphael just nodded his head and fell silent.

April stood in the kitchen, stirring the broccoli and cauliflower soup gently. It was heating slowly, and she was using this time to silently fall into her thoughts. She couldn't believe any of this was happening; she didn't want to believe that Leonardo was...gone. She took a shuddering breath and continued stirring, eyes glazing over. She felt like crap; she hadn't showered for a few days now, and she couldn't sleep. She spent most of her time nursing the remainders of the family back to health and trying to find Splinter. She cooked meals, fed the turtles and forgot about herself most days unless Casey reminded her. She knew that her pain could in no way come close to what the others must have been feeling, so she tried her hardest not to let it show. She instead took this precious solitary moments to herself to wallow in it so she could reign it back in. She glanced around her absentmindedly, before her eyes fell on a drawing that was pinned up on the fridge. It was of two turtles, Raphael and Leonardo, a while ago. Leo was laying in the tub passed out, and Raph was seated beside him, scrunched over in sleep. Without warning, her eyes welled up and spilled over with hot tears. She bit her lip to keep from sobbing, turning quickly back to the soup. But not her mind was spinning with different memories that assaulted her overtired brain without permission.

 _ **April pouted slightly as she leaned against Donnie's work table. She watched as he poured some glowing green substance into a beaker full of hydrochloric acid, and jumped backwards when it exploded glass and glowing goo all over the laboratory. After a moment of silence, Donatello turned to her, wide eyed underneath his goggles, and said softly,**_

 _ **"I didn't mean to do that."**_

 _ **April burst into laughter that quickly was joined by Donnie, who pulled his goggles off and looked around his lab. They shook their heads and set about cleaning up, giggling here and there. As they were cleaning, they heard footsteps, followed by a soft, "What the hell?"**_

 ** _April glanced up and saw Leonardo standing in the doorway, blinking in obvious confusion and staring around the now glowing lab._**

 ** _"I, uhm, miscalculated a reaction," Donnie said in embarrassment, rubbing the back of his neck in shame._**

 ** _Leo stood there for a moment before shaking his head and letting out an incredulous laugh. He shook his head and looked around for a moment, before padding into the lab carefully and helping them clean up. During the clean up, Leo stood and was walking towards the garbage can when he slipped on some of the goo and skidded right into the garbage can. And by that, it's meant that he literally skidded, tripped over his feet and landed head first into the garbage can. Donnie howled with laughter, and April started giggling. They made enough noise that the rest of the family, Splinter, Mikey and Raph wandered in to figure out what the hell was making them laugh so hard. Upon entry, all they saw was Leo frantically trying to dismantle himself from the garbage can that his shell got stuck in, green goo and glass everywhere, and Donnie and April sitting on the floor, laughing. Mikey started laughing, Splinter chuckled, and Raph just shook his head, grinning despite himself._**

April's chin wobbled at the memory and she let out a soft laugh that cracked half way through and gave in to quiet little sobs. She continued stirring the soup, leaning back a little so as not to cry into it. She was so lost in another world that she didn't hear when Donnie hobbled into the kitchen. Out of the four of them, he had gotten off the best. He was walking and in a minimal amount of pain when on painkillers. He was helping April and Casey as much as he could, cleaning the house and a few other mindless chores when he could manage it. He paused in the doorway, watching April's shoulders shake. He could hear her sniffles over the soft bubbling from the soup that was nearing completion, and he took a deep breath. Walking over to her, he cleared his throat so as to note her he was there. She jumped and whirled around, eyes wide and red. His gaze softened as he neared, gently taking the spoon from her hands and motioning for her to sit down. She only argued slightly, but then went and sat at the kitchen table trying to collect herself. Donnie stayed quiet; he knew that she needed a moment of silent company. Contrary to what April thought, Donnie felt a little better seeing her crying. He could tell she was trying hard to stay strong for them, and he appreciated that, but Leo's passing hadn't just affected their personal family. It had his April and Casey hard too. He couldn't deny them their pain, and he wouldn't so much as think of trying. So he silently portioned the soup out and let her relax in her thoughts for a bit, placing a bowl in front of her and taking three upstairs to Raph, Casey and Mikey.

As he left, he felt April watching him, but he didn't turn around. He walked silently up the stairs and back into his room, where Raph and Casey sat still, talking softly between them.

"I got food," he whispered softly, handing Raph a bowl, then Casey. They thanked him and he passed it off with a shrug, hobbling across the hall and into Mikey's room. He closed the door behind him and pattered to the orange masked turtles bedside, grabbing a chair and pulling it close. He put the bowl on the bedside table and, before waking the younger, gently tended to his wounds and bandaging. When he was sure things were kosher, he shook Mikey's shoulder softly.

"Hmm...pizza." he muttered softly, pulling himself from the tendrils of sleep.

Donnie smirked a little and muttered, "Nah, not pizza. Not yet. I do have food, though."

Mikey's eyes fluttered open and Donnie's heart fluttered dully as hie dull blue eyes landed on him. Mikey's head was bandaged, as with his left arm. His legs were in pretty bad shape as well, and his shell had been cracked severely. It would be a while before the youngster would be back on his feet, and Donnie would be there every step of the way. Mikey smiled a little as their eyes met, and Donnie leaned forwards to plant a kiss on the youngers' nose. Mikey let out a little giggle and shifted into a more comfortable position, letting out a groan as pain radiated from his shell to his head.

"Easy there, tiger," Donnie mumbled, gently helping him sit up.

Once Mikey was upright comfortably, Donnie grabbed a few painkillers and handed them and a bottle of water to the younger, who smiled and took them without complaint. He had to be in a lot of pain if he could accept the pain killers that easily. Silently, Donnie handed Mikey a spoon and held the bowl firmly, watching carefully as Mikey ate. After he was done, Donnie set the bowl and spoon aside, leaning back in his chair and looking at Mikey with soft amusement.

"Feeling a little better?"

Mikey nodded his head dully but smiled brightly, licking his lips, "Yeah, a bit. How's my shell?"

Donnie shrugged a little, "It'll take a bit longer, bug, but it's getting there."

Mikey's eyes softened at the pet name and his cheeks dusted a soft pink. Donnie grinned; it was refreshing to see Mikey not as pale. They sat and talked for a bit before Mikey got tired, the pain killers making his head fuzzy. Donnie stood, helped Mikey get comfortable and tucked him in. He walked to the edge of the bed and turned the fan on, cracking the window open slightly to let the fresh rain scent in. Mikey smiled gratefully and closed his eyes, mumbling, "I love you," as Donnie grabbed the bowl.

"I love you too.." Donnie mumbled, kissing the youngers forehead gently before he left.

Casey stood up and walked Raph back to his room and settled him in on the bed. Once Raph was asleep, Casey left, grabbed the bowls from Donnie's room and made his way down into the kitchen. April was still sitting at the table, head down and a cold, untouched bowl of soup beside her. Her breathing was even; she was asleep. Casey sighed and placed the bowls quietly in the sink and walked to her side. He didn't wake her; she was finally sleeping and he was worried that if he woke her she would refuse to sleep again. So he carefully picked her up and brought her up to their bedroom, tucking her in and kissing her forehead. She shifted a little, mumbling something he couldn't make sense of in her sleep. He smiled softly and padded down the stairs again quietly, walking to the front door and slipping his shoes on. He grabbed a hoodie from the rack and opened the door, slipping out into the chilly outdoors. Zipping his jacket up, he tromped down the stairs and around the back, heading towards the shed. His gut sank as he neared the door, as usual, and the sense of being an absolutely terribly person washed over him. He paused outside the door, taking a deep breath before knocking twice.

"Come on in," Splinter called softly from inside.

Casey walked in and closed the door behind him, wiping his shoes on the mat and tromping inside.

Splinter sat on a chair beside a little makeshift bed created from hay, lots of pillows and double blankets. He was nursing a bottle of water Casey had slipped out for him. Despite everything that was going on, Splinter looked...well. It sounded terrible, but given their circumstances... Casey shrugged. He pulled out a yellow crate, flipped it upside down, and sat on it. There was a fire going in the little fireplace, keeping the cool shed warm, and there was a little pot in the corner that was bubbling faintly.

"How is he?" Casey asked quietly, shooting a pointed look over at the still mound underneath the blankets.

Splinter smiled softly, taking a sip of his water before responding, "He's doing well. He's responding to sounds now, but he's still a long way from waking. It could be a few more days. Maybe a week."

Casey let out a deep sigh, "Why do I have to hide this from everyone? Have you seen them? Raph and Mikey are finally awake, April's barely sleeping or eating, and I have this huge weight on my shoulder telling me I'm a complete asshole for hiding this."

Splinter stood and lifted a finger. His ears twitched a few times, but after a moment he spoke like nothing had happened.

"As I had said, Casey, in order for his recovery to be swift and uninterrupted, we need silence and ignorance. At least until he wakes and everyone else is in better health."

Casey sighed heavily and nodded his head. It did make sense, but it didn't make it feel any less wrong. He turned and stared around the shed. There was another little bed just behind where his chair was that Splinter used periodically, and there was a little back door for them to do their business without being seen. Casey managed to slip food in for them unnoticed, not because he was sneaky by any stretch of the imagination, but because no one was paying enough attention to notice something was up. April was a ghost, and the others were barely functioning. He leaned back in his seat and watched as Splinter stirred the soup and pulled the pot away, pouring it into a small bowl. He returned the pot to its place, grabbed a spoon and padded towards the hay bed. He gently pulled the covers back, revealing a tattered version of the strong and noble Leonardo that once walked the very ground they stood on.

He looked a fraction better then the night they had found him; the blood and dirt was washed off, and his wounds had been sterilized and bound. That left him looking like a mummy, though, all but his eyes and mouth being wrapped. Casey's heart clenched as Leo's head moved slightly to the side. His lips twitched, and both Casey and Splinter held their breath, watching to see if he would wake. Of course, no such luck. Leo fell still and silent again. They let their breath out, and Splinter turned to Casey with bright eyes.

"See what I mean? My son is alive. I just need to focus my energies and his to pull him through this," he said softly, stirring the soup, "You have to promise not to tell the others. Not yet."

"Yeah, yeah," Casey mumbled.

He watched as Splinter carefully spooned some food into Leo's parted lips, watched as he swallowed softly. He had stopped trying to make sense of everything that had happened; it just made his head hurt. All he knew was that while they had been on the roof top, Leonardo had been presumed dead. His brothers, understandably, were in too rough of a shape to notice his shallow breathing. He had been on deaths door, yes, but he had not yet crossed the threshold. Splinter had noticed, as he had told Casey, the morning after when Leo had reportedly been groaning faintly. Surprised and greatly relieved, Splinter took the body into the shed and pulled Casey aside. A couple days after that, he holed completely up in the shed. As far as everyone else knew, their father had gone missing.

Man, was this ever fucked up.

Casey stood once Leonardo had been fed and glanced around with pursed lips. Splinter walked towards a large basin filled with water and dipped the bowl in, rinsing it and drying it off. Once done, he turned back to Casey and gave him a weary smile.

"I am relieved he has not passed. Although, this will not mean that our family has yet healed, even once their physical wounds have faded. Having come so close to losing a brother will not bode well for this team. Especially for Raphael," he added, pausing and staring at Casey, "How are my sons? How is Raphael?"

"They're recovering. Mikey woke up yesterday morning, Raph woke up this morning, and Donnie's still up and about helping," Casey said as nonchalantly as he could. He didn't mention how the light in their eyes died, how they walked around with no purpose, lost. He didn't even mention April's condition. He knew that Splinter had enough on his hands to begin with, so he replayed the good and not the bad. He wasn't lying; he was just...emitting things that Splinter didn't need to know at that moment.

Splinter nodded his head, pleased, and turned back to Leonardo. A fine sheen of sweat had appeared on his forehead, and Splinter grabbed a damp cloth, placing it over the unconscious turtles' head. Casey watched uncomfortably; he felt like he needed to leave them alone. Besides, he needed to go and cut some wood so that he had an excuse to be out so long. So, bidding Splinter a farewell, he trudged from the shed. He promised to bring a few more bottles of water out later as well as some more food, and Splinter thanked him. Casey closed the door tightly behind him and walked off into the woods, where he had managed to hide a stash of already cut wood. He grabbed a few logs and headed back inside. Kicking his shoes off, he walked in to the living room fireplace, dropping the logs beside the crackling flames. The fire was dying, so he grabbed the poker and started moving the remaining wood around to try and egg the fire to grow a little more. He grabbed a few pieces of wood and threw them in, waiting until the fire roared into life before placing the poker back and standing. He shrugged his hoodie off and threw it on the chair to his right, stretching and letting out a yawn. He was tired.

Just as he decided it was time for an evening nap, he heard someone clear his throat behind him. He turned around and saw April standing in the doorway. She looked as tired as ever, but her hair was wet. She had showered, washed her hair, and slipped into a pair of her own sleep shorts and a tank top. She looked better then she had earlier, but she was still drained and had lost a lot of weight. Casey's eyes softened and he smiled a little. April just looked at him and remained where she was. Something was wrong.

"What's wrong, babe?" He asked softly, walking towards her.

She just looked up at him carefully, "Where were you?"

 _Awe shit._

"I was just out cutting some firewood. The fire was getting kinda dull," He said quickly with a dismissive smile.

April eyed him suspiciously for a second, but decided that it wasn't worth it and walked up, pushing herself against him and wrapping her arms around his torso. He held her close and buried his head in her scarlet locks, breathing in the familiar and alluring scent. She let out a soft purring noise and nuzzled into his chest, murmuring,

"I miss him. No one's the same anymore. Have you seen Raph? He barely speaks. He just stares off into window silently."

Casey tensed. Everything in him willed him to tell at least her. Just tell April and she'd keep it quiet. She'd be healthy again. He had to bite his tongue hard enough to taste blood. He couldn't; he had made a promise to Splinter, and Leonardo needed silence and solitude if he was going to make a full recovery. This was so hard.

"I know, babe. I know," he mumbled instead, holding her closer.

Donatello stood in the shadows, watching as the couple embraced. He felt a pang of longing; he remembered holding someone like that. But now he was nursing that someone back to health. He couldn't hold him, he could barely kiss him without pain on both of their parts. Now that Leonardo was gone, he was the oldest and therefor tasked with the job as the new leader of the team. If they could even be called that anymore. He felt a severe pang of loss, and padded silently into the kitchen. He sat down heavily on the chair and placed his head in his hands.

First they lost Leonardo, now their father was no where to be found. Mikey was so doped up on medication that he wasn't himself, and Raph was holed up in his room like a mute. April was trying to hold everything together and help them in every way, which he was grateful for, but it was taking a visible toll on her. Casey...well, Donnie had no idea what went through his head in the best of circumstances. He, like April seemed to be holding things together for their sake, but unlike April he wasn't visibly deteriorating. He shook his head and let out a breath, pulling his face back. His hands were wet. Furrowing his brows, he wiped his face. He had been crying and he hadn't noticed. He frowned and rubbed furiously at his eyes. Not the time to cry. He sighed softly and glanced around. He remembered coming up here for a vacation when April and Casey had first gotten engaged. They hadn't moved in together officially yet, but April spent so much time away from her apartment that she might as well. It'd save her some money, that was for sure.

When they first got the news, they were all pretty happy for them. Casey invited them all up for a barbecue and a much needed break. All of them had trucked up and stayed for about a week, just relaxing and training here and there to stay in peak condition. Donnie's eyes lingered out the window at a tree with a tire swing underneath. Casey had put it up on April's request; she had always wanted a tire swing hanging from a tree trunk to swing on. Donnie smiled softly.

 _ **Donatello watched from the deck as Casey pushed April on the swing, laughing as she accidentally kicked him in the chest and made him fall. Casey coughed and swore, smiling despite himself. He got to his feet and grabbed April, pulling her from the swing and tickling her. She screeched and smacked at his hands, laughing and trying to scuttle out of his reach.**_

 _ **Michelangelo popped his head out of the back door, staring at the ordeal by the tire swing in confusion.**_

 _ **"Dude, are they okay?" he asked Donnie, walking out hesitantly.**_

 _ **Donnie just smiled and moved over to give Mikey enough room to sit, "Yeah, they're okay. April just kicked Casey by accident and he..well, this resulted," he said, suppressing a laugh as he gestured towards the couple.**_

 _ **April managed to get away and ran across the yard to where Leonardo was meditating, interrupting him by** _**_grabbing his shoulders and pulling him up. He yelped loudly in protest, but started laughing when he figured out what was going on. He stood in front of April, pretending to get ready to face off with Casey, who laughed deeply and rushed forwards. The two started wrestling, laughter and grunting coming from the pair. April, laughing, leaned against the tree to catch her breath. Her hair fell in little tendrils around her face, her ponytail starting to come out. As Casey and Leo tussled, Raphael emerged from the woods, sheathing his sais as he walked. He paused, staring distastefully the two drew near._**

 ** _"Hey, watch it," he grumped, glaring at them and meaning to walk past them._**

 ** _Leo and Casey paused long enough to exchange a look, before turning and tackling Raph to the ground. Raph, caught by surprise, let out a rather undignified yelp as he hit the ground, then started yelling at them to get off. Casey and Leo definitely had their hands full trying to keep the hot headed reptile to the ground, but they managed. Donnie and Mikey laughed at the scene._**

 ** _"Oh, dude, he's so pissed," Mikey wheezed, leaning against the purple masked male._**

 ** _Donnie just grinned. Casey pulled back, breathing hard through his laughter. Leonardo looked up at Casey long enough to give him a betrayed look, before Raph sprang up and pounced on Leo, wrestling him to the ground. The two tussled, laughing here and there as they rolled. It was one of those rare moments where nothing could go wrong. Leo and Raph were getting alone, Donnie had his arm around Mikey and was holding him close, and Casey was holding April with one arm, rooting Raph on with the other. It was...priceless._**

Donnie's eyes swam at the memory, letting out a deep breath. He leaned back in his chair and watched as the sun set slowly behind the canopy of leaves. They're family was no longer going to be the same, and he had no idea if they would ever be. No one had anticipated his departure. No one could have seen this coming. Shredder had gotten the upper hand by a dirty trick that no one had seen coming. He had the element of surprise, that was all. Donnie shook his head, clearing his eyes and wiping his cheeks from the few that slipped out. Shredder was going to pay for this. See, now THEY had the element of surprise. Shredder thought that they were dead. Sure it wouldn't be any time soon, but once they were back on their feet... Shredder would be having company.

Donnie wasn't usually one for revenge, but the murder of a brother warranted the very worst from his disposition. He knew he wasn't the only one; Raphael wasn't just sitting up in his room thinking about butterflies and wallowing in pity. No, he had seen that look before, when Leo had been taken by Winter's stone family. He was planning something. Something big, and for once, Donnie wanted to be a part of it.

Not yet, though. Not yet. They needed to focus on nursing each other to health, then some serious training was in order. This would be hard; their father was gone, as was their team leader. But Donatello had faith in his brothers. They could do this. ****


	3. Chapter 3 - Recovery

Mikey yawned softly, shifting in his bed. Suddenly he froze. He wiggled his toes. His fingers. Shook his head a little, then broke out into a curious grin. There was no splitting pain. He was stiff, but he wasn't in pain. And how long had it been since his last pain killers? He pursed his lips and rolled onto his back, slowly pushing himself up into a sitting position. His neck was stiff and his back hurt a bit, but that was all. His shell wasn't hurting more then a dull throb here or there, and his tail seemed to be perfectly fine. He tried wiggling it. No pain.

He was grinning from ear to ear now. His grin faltered when he tried to move his left arm, though. Nothing happened. He looked down; his arm was no longer in a sling, but he couldn't move it or feel it. The grin fell away into a frown as he tried with all his might to move his fingers. After a few unsuccessful moments, he took a deep breath and prepared to call out for Donnie. But just as the 'D' left his lips, Donnie slipped into the bedroom. He paused when he saw Mikey sitting up by himself, a smile tugging at his lips briefly, but it faltered when he saw the stricken look on Mikey's face.

"What's wrong?" he said quickly , padding over and setting the soup aside.

"I can't feel my arm," Mikey grumbled, looking down and..wiggling his fingers.

He stared in confusion as his fingers wiggled. His arm was all fuzzy, almost painfully so. But..his arm was moving now. He looked up at Donnie, and something in his expression made the purple masked turtle laugh fondly.

"You must have been sleeping on your arm. It probably fell asleep. Is your arm all fuzzy?"

Mikey nodded his head and Donnie grinned.

"So you're feeling better, I take it?"

Mikey nodded his head, the grin returning to his face, "Yeah! The only thing that hurts his my head a bit still and my shell. But not a lot."

Donnie smiled, "Your shell is healing quickly, which is really good, and most of your other wounds have healed nicely. Be careful with your legs, though. Before you try walking around, you need some work done. You're legs are really stiff; they haven't been used in a few weeks. Just be careful of that and call me if you need something."

Mikey nodded his head and reached eagerly for the soup. He was getting tired of soup, to be honest, but he wouldn't say anything. At least he was getting food, and he didn't want to make April or Donnie do any extra work. He knew they already had their hands full pulling everyone through. His thoughts faltered, and he immediately blocked everything out. He shook his head and started eating his soup, his stomach growling happily as he ate. Donnie sat in the chair beside his bed, watching Mikey eat. Once the orange masked turtle was done, Donnie took the bowl from the younger and stood, kissing his forehead and walking out without another word. Mikey watched wordlessly, his heart tugging dully. The Donnie he knew was gone now, left with a subdued, silent version that Mikey felt uncomfortable around. He'd see flashes of his lover and brother at times, but not very often. It made him sad, but he knew there was nothing he could do. Frowning slightly, he glared at his legs. He could wiggle his toes without much effort, but anything else hurt, which he soon found out. He let out a hiss of pain; frowning. For the next few hours before Donnie returned to check on him, Mikey focused on moving his legs and stretching them while sitting in bed. It was painful, but by the time Donnie had walked in with a bottle of water he could bend his knees with minimal pain. He hid this from Donnie though, wanting to surprise the older when he was able to stand. He wanted to help him; he was the only one that was still laying in bed helplessly, and he felt like a burden for it. He needed to help them, even though Donnie insisted it was okay.

Donatello walked into his younger brothers' room hesitantly. He was worried about Mikey, as everyone in the house rightly was, but their connection ran deeper in a way that no one else but them could understand. He saw Mikey was in unintentional denial. He avoided talking about what happened, avoided addressing why his wounds had come to be in the first place, and he especially avoided bringing up his oldest brothers name. So, after trying to unsuccessfully open Mikey up to talk, Donnie had simply given up. Mikey would come around at his own pace, and all that he could do was be there when it happened.

Mikey was still sitting up in bed as he neared, a water bottle in one hand and a treat in the other behind his back. Mikey could eat solid foods, but with the stress going on around the house, neither April or Casey had been able to head into town to pick up some much needed groceries. In the freezer was a bunch of soup, though, that Casey had stocked up, so that was their breakfast, lunch and dinner until the house could be restocked. He had over heard April talking to Casey, saying that they should go and pick some actual food up, but Casey's reply was too quiet for Donnie to hear.

"Hey," Donnie said softly, a smile on his face.

Mikey beamed up at him, and Donnie's heart clenched. He looked almost...normal now.

"Hey. Hows everyone?" he asked lightly.

Donnie grabbed his chair and scooted forwards, handing the younger the bottle of water and trying to keep the bag behind him from crinkling too much, "They're doing alright. As far as I know, Casey and April might go out later and pick up some groceries."

Mikey let out a whoop of excitement, "It's about time! I was getting sick and tired of soup all the time."

Donnie grinned and agreed. After a moment, he said, "I have a bit of a surprise for you. It's not much, I know, but at least it isn't soup again."

Mikey perked up immediately, his baby blue eyes glinting in the sunlight streaming through the window. Donnie laughed and pulled a bag of classic lays chips from behind him, handing it to the other male. Mikey let out a squeak and grabbed the bag, hugging it and grinning.

"Dude!" he said, grinning at Donnie, "Thanks! But where did you get them? You said they were just going to get groceries today?"

Donatello just smirked, "I found them in the pantry behind some cans of soup. I don't know how old they are, but they haven't been opened."

As Donnie spoke, Mikey tore into the bag and gleefully grabbed a handful and stuffed them into his face. He let out a soft little moan of happiness, his eyes fluttering closed.

"I take it there fine?" Donnie asked, amused.

Mikey just nodded his head and spoke around a mouthful of chips, "Der a wittle shtale, bu' der good!"

Donnie just laughed and sat back in his chair, watching as Mikey happily chomped down on his food. Mikey tilted the bag towards the other, but Donnie shook his head, saying that he had gotten them for Mikey, not him. Mikey shrugged and continued eating, almost vibrating. It was ridiculous how a simple little thing like that could make the younger so happy.

"Oh, and I fixed our masks," Donnie added as a side note, "When you're fully up and moving I'll get yours back to you."

Mikey nodded his head and set the bag of chips down beside his legs. He rubbed his hands together and looked at Donnie, his eyes suddenly soft.

"Hey, uhm, Donnie..?"

"Mmm?"

"Can I ask you something...? And don't laugh," he added, frowning a little.

Donnie raised an eyebrow. Mikey was blushing and he looked really uncomfortable all of a sudden, "What is it?"

Mikey fidgeted a little, his eyes no longer meeting Donnie's as he spoke, "Well, uhm...are we...still...you know..."

Donnie furrowed his brows. What was Mikey getting at, exactly?

"Go on," he urged.

"Eherm...Arewestilltogether?" he asked in a rush, his cheeks flushing a deeper shade of pink.

Donnie paused for a moment and eyed the younger with an unreadable expression, before he snorted softly in amusement. He leaned forwards, eyes soft as he murmured, "Really? That's what you choose to ask me now, of all things?"

Mikey shrugged slowly, glancing over at Donnie and looking away again.

Donnie sighed, smiling, "Yes, we're still together if you want us to be."

Mikey smiled and slowly met Donnie's gaze, "Well, if I didn't want to be I wouldn't have asked," he said cheekily.

Donnie rolled his eyes and leaned forwards, kissing the younger turtle on the forehead, "Alright. Anything else you want to ask?" he said delicately.

Mikey paused for a moment, his eyes flickering with something that Donatello couldn't decipher. After a moment, Mikey shook his head and glanced away. Donnie's smile fell away and he knew their conversation was over. He nodded his head, mumbled that if he was needed, just call his name, and stood to leave. After a second, he heard Mikey's voice behind him.

"Donnie.. Is Leo really..gone?"

Donatello's breath caught. Mikey's voice was quiet, almost too quiet for Donnie to hear. His heart clenched as he slowly turned around and made his way back to where his brother sat. He was silent as he sat back down in the chair, staring at the floor as he spoke.

"Yes...he is."

"And...Splinter...is he gone too?" came the soft reply.

Donnie let out the breath he had been holding sharply, "Yes... Father disappeared sometime last week.. We haven't heard from him since."

They fell silent and Donnie looked up, studying his lovers' face carefully. Mikey had sustained a few cuts and scrapes that had become scars that would take a long time to heal, and there were still a few bruises that purpled underneath his left eye. Without his mask, Mikey looked so much younger and much more vulnerable. He seemed older too, somehow, but that was in his eyes. They were no longer bright and full of joy, as they once were. No, they were dull and looked as though they had been around a hundred moons. It hurt to see their youngest brother and his lover like this, but there was nothing he could do.

After an uncomfortable while of silence, Donatello mumbled something about making a shopping list for Casey and April and trudged from the room, closing the door as he left. His shoulders sagged with the weight of the world on them, and his head was swimming. He leaned against Mikey's closed door and sighed, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath to calm himself.

 _Leo... Why'd you have to go?_

 _ **'Leo...Leonardo... My son, can you hear me?'**_

No, go away. He didn't want to wake. He didn't want to be disturbed.

 _ **'My son, come back. Your brothers need you. I need you.'**_

All he wanted was to just lay there, cloaked in the calming dark. The more he heard of the voice, the louder it got and the more he hurt. Everywhere.

 _ **'Please, my son...'**_

He was so tired and heavy. The more that he was called, the harder it got to breathe, to think, to even think. He just wanted to go back to the darkness that had covered him. It was calming. And where the voice was coming from was a world of pain and sadness. He didn't want to go. Just leave him be.

 _ **'Hey, Leo. C'mon, man.'**_

That was a new voice. It sounded just as familiar as the first...

The change of voices startled him so much that he felt the tendrils of sleep, safety and peace crumbling away from him rapidly. He didn't have time to think, much less react, before splitting pain shot through him. He let out a yell; his throat felt like it was on fire from the sudden use. He could hear voices around him, but he was in too much pain to make any sense of anything other then that which he felt. He just wanted it to stop, he wanted it to be the way it was before. Where there was nothing yet everything. He could be whatever he wanted, he could see what he wanted, he was free. He had no limitations.

Here, however...

The pain radiated through his body, causing him to to seize up, his torso curling upwards. He tried to roll over into a ball, but even the slightest movement felt like flames of acid licking his very bones.

He vaguely noted that there were hands on him, trying to hold him down, but he couldn't focus. He wanted the pain to go away, he wanted everything to just...stop.

He could hear what he knew was his name being chanted, he could feel a familiar hand on his forehead, and little licks of memory started flooding back to him. Too quickly. His brain seemed to overload, and all at once, he was pulled back into the unfeeling, cool and safe darkness that he had been woken from.

 _Finally._

Casey's heart thudded against his chest. Splinter had called him to the shed late at night, saying it was an emergency. He had woken from a dead sleep on the couch to find Splinter's frantic eyes inches from his own. It had startled the piss out of him, but not as much as the look in the old rats' eyes.

"You need to come. Now," was all that had been spoken, and here Casey was, in the shed at 3:30 in the morning, staring at the naked turtle laying on the hay bed.

Leonardo had been moving around, and according Splinter had been mumbling in his sleep and even begun fluttering his eyes open for short periods of time. He wasn't very responsive, but he knew when Splinter was talking. They were close to something, and Splinter had called Casey there for help if it were needed. Now, Splinter stood beside the bed, holding the younger's hand tightly, murmuring words to him to try and pull him out of the sleep he had fallen into. Casey was having a hard time breathing; Splinter had said he had a good feeling that Leonardo would wake and be conscious, even if it was for a little. He was far from healed, and that worried Splinter, but if Leonardo was able to gain consciousness for even a while, their chances of him pulling through this sky rocketed from a 15% to an 85%.

"Hey. Leo.. c'mon man," he murmured, throwing some words of encouragement in but not exactly expecting anything.

Casey sat watching as Leonardo's head twitched towards the sound of their voices. They sat silent for a few minutes, before Casey came to the decision nothing was going to happen that night. At least he was responding to-

"ARRGH!"

A splitting, raw yell ripped through Leonardo's throat all of a sudden, his eyes flying open. Splinter jumped and stood up, shouting his sons' name. Casey flew from his seat, knocking it backwards in his haste. Leonardo was moving, his body twitching as he tried to move, nearly falling from the bed in what looked like an attempt at the fetal position. Casey and Splinter wrestled for a few heart-wrenching moments, trying to make Leo lay back and calm down. They had tragically misjudged just how much pain he was in, and now he was suffering. At a small glance to the side, he could see the pain and panic that crossed Splinter's eyes. It was foreign and made Casey's stomach turn.

They wrestled for a few more moments, before Leonardo suddenly went limp, passing back out. They lay him carefully on the bed, breathing hard and eyes swimming. Casey looked at Splinter, who stared at his son for a few more seconds before sitting down in the chair by the dying fire. He sat silently as Casey looked over Leo, covering him with a blanket and grabbing a damp cloth to wipe the sweat from his face. He had split open a few wounds and was bleeding from his side and his head, and his skin was a sickly pale shade of grey. Casey took a deep breath and pulled the blanket back just so he could reach Leo's wounds. He grabbed the first aid kit and set about re-closing and recovering his wounds, which took a little longer then he had expected. Splinter had done a good job cleaning the wounds; there was no sign of infection. It was just taking a long time to heal.

After he had finished dealing with Leonardo, he covered him back up and turned to Splinter. The poor man was bent over, staring at the last of the fire unseeingly. A few tears had snaked their way out of his eyes and were slowly falling down his cheeks. Casey sighed softly and walked towards the old man, gently resting a hand on his shoulder. His voice was soft.

"Splinter, I think, if it's all the same to you, it's about time we agree not to keep this a secret anymore."

Splinter was silent for a few moments, before he muttered, "Alright, Casey. We tell them come morning."

Casey nodded his head and stood there for a few more moments, before deciding that he had best leave him be. With one last look at Leonardo, he turned and trudged towards the door. He slipped out and closed the door tightly behind him, and turned to head back to the house. He nearly bowled over April, who was standing right behind him. Casey spluttered and reached out, grabbing her before she hit to cold ground. She looked up at him, her eyes red rimmed and a look of strain on her face.

"What the hell is going on?" she whispered, her voice wavering.

"Babe, let me explain," he started, getting ready to cut her off if she started freaking like he expected.

To his utter surprise, she paused and nodded her head, turning briskly and walking back into the house. He took a deep breath and followed, preparing his story. As he walked inside, he saw a candle lighting the kitchen and April making herself a cup of tea and starting some coffee for him. He smiled sadly as he watched her bustle about. With the recovery of the other three, she had begun looking a little better. She was still mourning, but she was at least eating a bit more and showering every other night. She still barely slept, but she was getting better.

He waited until they were seated with their mugs in front of them before he spoke.

"Leonardo wasn't dead when we got to them. He was pretty damn close, but because no one was really in any shape to pay too much attention, we over looked it. The night we brought him in on the couch, Splinter stayed by him and noticed shallow breathing and a faint pulse. I came down and saw Splinter carrying his body into the shed, and I followed. Splinter told me what was going on, and said that if we had any chance of saving him we needed to keep this a secret from everyone. Splinter needed to focus their energies on bringing him back, so I kept it a secret. If I hadn't, Leo wouldn't have been recovering nearly as fast, if at all. As it is, he's at least having conscience moments."

April nodded her head, nursing her tea and waiting for him to go on.

Casey took a deep breath, "I was sneaking them food, water and anything else that they needed while everyone else was recovering. Splinter woke me up earlier and told me that he was starting to show signs of possibly waking up. We thought that he was recovering better then he really was, and when he did end up waking, he screamed. He was in so much pain that... He didn't stay conscience for long."

Casey broke off for a moment and took a swig of his black coffee. With recent evens, he had taken to simply drinking his tea straight.

April looked at him and said, "So...why are you guys deciding to tell everyone now?"

Casey shrugged, "I didn't want to hide this in the first place. I mean, look at the guys. And you...hiding it from you was hard," April looked away at that, "But I guess now that everyone's pretty much recovering Splinter's finally accepting some help. At least, everyone can walk. We need Donatello's medical skills to help. We can't tell how much damage Leonardo sustained as it is, and I know that Donnie can."

April nodded her head and added, "And any supplies that we need, either you or I can run out and grab tomorrow. We'll have to tell them as soon as they wake up."

Casey nodded his head then paused for a second, "I don't know how they're going to take knowing that I kept this from them. It's one thing for Splinter..but I knew and didn't tell them. I lied," he said, staring at his nearly empty mug, "Raph's gonna flip," he added as an afterthought.

April nodded slowly, then said, "Maybe this is something that Splinter should do. We'll be there, but he should tell them. He can explain his actions in a way that they can understand."

"Yes, Ms. O'Neil. That was the plan," came a voice from behind them, "When my sons wake, tell them to come into the living room."

Casey nodded his head. Before either could speak, Splinter padded from the kitchen. They glanced at each other silently.

When morning came, they still sat there, sipping at now cold drinks. Neither cared. They just waited for the sounds of the turtles waking. At around 10, Casey headed out to the shed to get Splinter, while April went to gather the guys.

10:30 saw them all in the living room. Michelangelo had surprisingly started walking overnight, and was refusing to sit even though he was tired. He was proud, and that made the mood a little happier. For the time being.

Raphael sat by the fireplace, Donatello sat on the couch, and Casey and April stood by the entrance.

"So what's the deal? Why are we here?" Mikey asked.

"Well," Casey started, but was stopped as Splinter appeared.

The atmosphere changed immediately.

"Father!" Both Mikey and Donnie exclaimed together, jumping forwards.

Raphael's eyes widened and he brought himself up silently. All three of them rushed towards Splinter, embracing him. Casey looked away; it felt like a private moment that he had no business witnessing. As they pulled away, as expected, they bombarded him with questions all revolving around, 'Where have you been?' Splinter smiled softly and motioned for them all to sit, and they did. Even Mikey, although he sat a little heavier then the others.

Splinter took in the sight of his sons. In the matter of almost three weeks, they had recovered well. Donatello had but a few bruises on him, and a couple nasty looking scars, but he was fine. Raphael still had a sling on his left arm and a few bandages around his face and right leg, but otherwise was functioning just fine. Michelangelo, who had looked the worst besides Leonardo, had a few bandages on his shell, a rather impressive collection of bruises littering his body, and was suffering from a small limp. Splinter sighed softly; they were warriors, even when their leader was gone.

"My sons, I have something that I need to tell you. I hid this from you until I knew that you all could handle it and act as you need," He paused for a moment as they all exchanged perplexed glances, "As you all know, Shredder won your last battle. You were all severely wounded, and your oldest brother, Leonardo, was presumed dead. However, upon bringing him here I noticed that he was still alive, but just barely. His pulse was so soft that I almost couldn't locate it. But once I did, I knew I had to get him out of here. I brought him to the shed, where Casey helped set up a bed for your brother."

"Wait, hold up,' Raph broke in, his eyes flashing dangerously, "So Leo's alive, and Casey knew, and you both decided to keep this from us?"

Splinter flinched and Casey refused to make eye contact with any of the brothers, "Raphael, please. It was the only way that I could make sure that Leonardo would make it through. You were all recovering from wounds of your own, and I needed solitude and silence to bring him up. I would never do this unless I had no choice. You of all people should know this."

Raphael fell silent, but the dangerous flashing in his eyes grew. Splinter took a deep breath before continuing.

"Last night, Leonardo surface. He broke through the sleep that had locked him in place. I had thought that he was healing faster then he really was, and Leonardo wasn't able to stay awake for long," Here he turned to Donatello, who had remained expressionless throughout everything, "Donatello, I need your help."

Whether it was his father asking for his help or simply being addressed in general, Donatello snapped to attention. His eyes flashed in a way that Casey had never seen.

"Alright, father. I need to take a look at him to see what's going on... I don't have anything here that I need to perform a full inspectio-"

"Casey and I can take care of that," April cut in, taking a small step forwards, her eyes watery, "We can run into town today and grab everything you need. Just make us a list and we'll get it."

Donatello nodded, his voice flat, "Alright."

Splinter sighed, his head drooping, "Donatello, come with me."

"Wait!" Michelangelo said, standing up quickly and nearly losing his balance, "We're going to see him too, right?"

Splinter shook his head, opening his mouth to speak but was cut off, "We're going to see him. You kept this from us. This is the least you owe us."

Raphael stood, his eyes murderous. Splinter frowned.

"Until Donatello has determined what state he is in, you cannot come in. We have to make his healing as quiet as possible."

Mikey and Raph both turned towards Donatello, who refused to meet their eyes as he spoke, "He's right. Until I can get a look at him, it's not good for him to have too many people around him."

Raph swore, his eyes guarded and hateful. He turned on his heel and stormed upstairs, while Mikey simply stood there, looking like a small child. Everyone jumped as raph slammed his door. Donatello turned and walked form the house, followed closely by Splinter. April walked towards Mikey, her eyes soft. She was fighting tears. Mikey just looked up at her and accepted her arms around him, silently. Casey watched without a word, his eyelids heavy.

After a moment, April pulled away and offered to make Mikey something to eat. He just shook his head, offered a dull smile, and turned away and walked up stairs. She heard his door close softly, and she turned to Casey with a somber expression. She sighed a little and walked into the kitchen with Casey at toe.

"I'll make up a list of things to buy, food-wise. If there's anything around the house, like toilet paper, shampoo, that sort of thing, let me know. We'll wait until we hear from Donnie to go, though."

Casey nodded his head and turned, walking from the kitchen. as he walked upstairs, he heard murmuring from Mikey's room and paused, listening. He could hear Raph's deep rumble, but he couldn't make out what was being said. He decided against eavesdropping and tromped into the bathroom. They needed toilet paper, tooth paste, shampoo and soap. Mumbling what was needed under his breath, he slipped back into the kitchen. April was bustling around, a piece of paper on the table with a pencil. She was eyeing the inside of the fridge, her brows furrowed as she concentrated. He smiled a little.

"Hey. We need toilet paper, tooth paste, shampoo for both of us, and some soap."

April nodded and stood, writing everything on the paper as well as some other things for the fridge. About ten minutes later, she sat at the table, her list finally finished. He could tell she was restless, impatiently waiting for Donnie to come back in so she could get out. He knew how she felt; after nearly three weeks of being cooped up without anything other then soup to eat, he was itching to leave too. But it wasn't until an hour and a half had passed that Donatello slipped back into the house. His face was tight and his eyes red. He walked in and relayed everything he needed to April, who wrote it down quickly, then he turned and slipped back out of the house before either could ask him what was going on. April glanced at Casey and let out a soft little sigh.

"Come on, Casey. Let's go."


	4. Chapter 4 - Awakening

Donatello sat at Leo's bedside, gently spooning him some warm soup. They had finally moved him from the shed into a more comfortable room. He had the window open and a fan going; Leo had been overheating recently. April and Casey were out shopping, Raph and Mikey were locked in a room together discussing God knows what, and Splinter was downstairs cleaning. Raph was still pissed off because he had thought moving Leo back into the house meant he could come visit. It hurt to say no, especially when he was in here with Leo almost 24/7, but he would rather they didn't see Leo like this. As it was, he had had a hard time keeping it together when he first lay his eyes on his older brother. His skin was greyish green, his lips were dry and cracked, and almost every part of his body was covered in either bandages or bruises. He was breathing, but it was labored, and his body was covered in a fine sheen of sweat. He had a fever, and there was obviously something internal, but that was all Donatello could discern without any tools. So he had given his list to April and helped Splinter move Leonardo back into the house. He pulled April aside before they left and told her that there were some supplies still in their lair that would be helpful if he got back. She said it was no problem and they would grab it while they were out. He thanked her, and from then til now, he had been sitting by Leo's bedside, tending to him and making sure he was comfortable. Splinter would show up periodically, but for the most part he was alone.

He was relieved that they had gotten both his father and Leo out of that shed. It had reeked of urine, sweat, blood and vomit. It was not healthy in there. At least now both of them were more comfortable.

He finished feeding Leo and placed the bowl on his bedside table. He grabbed a cool damp cloth and placed it over Leo's forehead. As he leaned back in his seat, watching over his older brother, he heard the van pull up. Splinter walked into the room and nodded.

"April and Casey are back. I will watch over Leonardo while you go and gather what you need."

Donatello nodded his thanks and slipped from the room and down the stairs. He was surprised to see that both Raph and Mikey had submerged themselves for more then just food and bathroom breaks. They barely spared him a glance, before turning back to April and Casey, who were busy unpacking a fairly large amount of groceries. Donnie greeted them with a small smile, which both returned.

"How's Leo?" Casey asked, tossing Donatello a yogurt cup, which said turtle took happily.

"His fever broke sometimes after you guys left, and his breathing is getting stronger. It's not going by fast by any means, but he's getting there. Did you get-"

"One step ahead of you," April cut in lightly, gesturing to a few large bags that were sitting on the ground beside the table, "We visited the lair like you asked too. Most of what you need is in the van still; Casey will help you pull it out. A lot of it we're going to need you to come down and sift through. A lot of it's really heavy and we didn't want to risk having it break on the trip."

Donatello nodded, grateful for Casey and April's help. Casey gestured for Donnie to follow him and the two headed towards the van. Casey opened the doors, and Donnie sighed with relief. A lot of his experiments and gear was still in tact; the foot had done a number, but not to his things as far as he could tell. That made him rather happy. One by one, Casey and Donnie brought things in, leaving them by the front door to transport what Leo needed later. A few of his beakers hadn't made it; they lay in shattered pieces at the bottom of the box, but he didn't care. His monitors, IV stands, and all things medical had made it safely. He had pretty much everything he needed, provided April and Casey had managed to pick up the rest of the supplies he had asked for. He didn't doubt that they did.

Once everything was inside, they sorted through and brought everything up to Leo's room.

"Do you want me to help you set things up?" Casey asked once everything was said and done.

Donatello simply shook his head. It wasn't that he didn't trust Casey, or he thought he was an idiot, but Donnie had built most of the machinery by himself, and he knew them inside out. He'd feel better if he were the one building it. Thankfully, Casey got the hint without offence, and squeezed the shorter's shoulder softly.

"If you need me or April, just call. And when you find out what's up with Leo, let us know, yeah?"

"Of course," Donnie mumbled, looking over at the nearly comatose turtle laying on the bed.

They stood there in silence for a moment, before Casey patted Donnie's shoulder and left. Letting out a deep sigh, he turned to the pile of crap in the far corner. He had some work to do, that was for sure.

Michelangelo lay beside a passed out Raphael, head resting on the olders' arm. They had been spending a lot more time together then usual. If that wasn't weird enough, they hadn't even had a small bicker in their whole time alone together. If anything, they were...calm and relaxed around each other. Mikey's crude and often terrible jokes made Raph laugh instead of smack him, and Raph actually took part in board games and other things with Mikey that before would have earned the orange masked turtle a chuff behind the head for even suggesting. Mikey liked it, but he knew that the only reason this was happening was because Leo was gone, Splinter was useless to even talk to, and Donatello was locked in Leo's room almost 24/7.

Leo.

Everyone had thought he was dead. Neither he or Donnie knew **how** Leo got that bad that quick. One minute, they were all fighting and kicking shell, and the next thing Mikey at least remembered, was Leo calling Raphael's name, a sickening shriek and a crunch, and Leo had fallen. Raphael refused to even talk about it, claiming he barely remembered anything during that fight. Mikey had a feeling Raph remembered what had happened, but decided to ignore it; it wasn't good, but Mikey knew better then to push it. After all, they only had each other here.

They couldn't even go and see their brother, for Christ's sake.

Unlike Raphael, Mikey understood why Donnie and Splinter were the only ones that were supposed to be in there. He was a little upset that he couldn't even glance in, but he knew better then to push it until Donnie or Splinter gave the go. Raph, however, was livid. When Leo was presumed dead, Raphael barely spoke to anyone. He locked himself in his room, silent, for days. But when the news came about that Leo WAS alive, and this had been kept from all of them, he refused to listen to reason. He raged, he broke the window in his room, and he chose to ignore everyone who had known about Leo. Even Donatello, who hadn't known, was being shunned by the hot head, simply because he was the only one level headed and skilled enough to figure out what was wrong with Leo. Raph hated anyone who got to see Leo, only talking to April and Mikey.

Mikey studied his brothers face. Raphael was snoozing peacefully for the moment, his eyes closed and mouth opened ever so slightly. His mask lay on the bedside table, untouched from when Donnie left it there a few hours ago. His chest rose and fell softly, and he looked...young. He looked like he was at ease for the first time in a long time. The events of the past month had weighed on all of them badly, but when it concerned Raphael...physically, Mikey was in the worst shape. His legs were still messed up (bone fracture on both of them), and his shell was still recovering. Mentally? All of them could agree that Raphael had taken the worst. The red masked man had always taken matters with Leonardo the hardest. They fought the worst, protected each other the strongest, and jumped at each others throats as quick as light. And whenever one of the two was in trouble, they were always the first to rush into battle to save them.

It was obvious, not just because of Mikey's relationship, that it wasn't just brotherly love that bound them together. It was something else, something deeper that neither had either noticed or come to terms with. It was painful to watch sometimes. Back at their home, whenever Leonardo was meditating, Raph would watch shamelessly. He'd stare at the blue masked male, studying him. Waiting. He watched Leonardo, watched his every move. At first, Mikey thought it was just because he was waiting for something, anything, to yell at Leo about. It seemed plausible what with how much they fought in the fist place. But as time went on, he noticed that it was more then that. He had a different expression in those moments then he did when they argued, or when he was annoyed. And that was when he noticed Leonardo was doing the same thing.

Leo was well aware of how Raphael studied him. It was painfully obvious, but the older never said anything or confronted the red male. And after a while, Mikey noticed that Leonardo was watching Raph too. While they were training, he'd watch Raphael. All of him. His eyes would wander, lingering on his arms, legs and, of course, his face. It made both Donnie and Mikey uncomfortable, and in those moments they either left or they tried to strike up a conversation to make it stop. It was in those moments that Mikey and Donnie's relationship really blossomed. Neither of their brothers really noticed or paid much attention, too wrapped up with each other and everything else. Splinter caught on to everything that went on with his family, and said nothing. He was letting things roll at their own pace; he was neither judgmental nor unaccepting of Donnie and Mikey's relationship. In fact, he seemed to be happy with it. He never said anything aloud, but he spared little looks of amusement whenever Mikey or Donnie slipped from each others rooms in the morning.

Mikey had no doubts that Splinter caught on to what was crackling between Raphael and Leonardo. The only difference was that Splinter treated it with a smidgen more caution, which he understood. One minute the two could be getting along just fine, and then next be trying to strangle each other. There were times where neither would speak for days, then they would suddenly be all friendly to each other and staring. Mikey didn't understand what was going on, but he found himself rooting them on.

Raphael snorted rather loudly in his sleep which shocked Mikey out of his thoughts. He suppressed a yawn and quietly slipped off of the bed and out of the room without waking his brother. As he he headed towards the bathroom, he heard soft muttering in Leo's room. He paused and pressed his ear against the wood door, quietly listening and trying to make out what was being said.

"-could be some internal bleeding, but I suspected as much. His heart beat is erratic, and I can already tell that there's some broken rib bones and pulled muscles. I can get the pain under control enough with the morphine to hopefully wake him up and keep him awake, but it's going to be a while before I can do that without harming his recovery."

Mikey's brow furrowed. So Donnie had already diagnosed Leo?

"Thank you, my son," came Splinter's soft voice, "Is there anything else?"

There was a pause before Donnie mumbled, "There's some head trauma, but nothing major. He'll definitely experience some memory loss; he's got a closed skull fracture."

Mikey's breath caught slightly; skull fracture didn't sound good.

"Thankfully, it's small and can heal by itself. His brain hasn't been effected at all, just knocked around a bit. He's going to be okay, but recovery is going to be seriously slow."

"Would it hurt if your brothers come in to visit?" Splinter asked softly. Mikey held his breath.

"I'd say hold off for another few days to let the morphine and fluids circulate. He's severely dehydrated, and we need to feed him a little more, but once that's dealt with it should be fine. Hey, he'd probably be awake by then."

Mikey heard Splinter sigh in relief, and he let out the breath he had been holding. So Leo was going to pull out just fine? He grinned. He needed to tell Raph!

Full bladder forgotten for the moment, he hurried back to the bedroom where Raph was just waking.

"DUDE," Mikey shouted, jumping onto the bed.

"Che," Raph grumbled, eyeing Mikey with slight annoyance, "What?"

"So I was gonna go to the bathroom, right? But I overheard Donnie talking to Splinter in Leo's room, and Leo's gonna be okay! He's got a few problems still, but Donnie can fix him right up and in a few days we can go see him!"

Raphael's expression was unreadable as Mikey spoke, and he remained silent for a few beats after Mikey was done talking. Mikey's smile slowly fell away, his excitement fading. This wasn't the reaction he had been expecting at all. Finally, Raph let out a sigh.

"At least he's okay."

Mikey paused, looking at Raph incredulously, "That's all you can say? That's seriously all you can say."

Raph shrugged, his eyes guarded as he eyed the younger, "What do you want me to say, hm? 'Ohmigod he's okay! Eeee!'" he growled, voice rising to a falsetto at the last bit.

Mikey sat back, staring at Raph and shaking his head. After a moment, Raphael shrugged and stood, stalking from the room. Mikey was silent, staring at the door his brother left through.

And just like that, it was back to the way it was between them.

April sat in the living room, sighing in frustration with her phone pressed to her ear. Their internet had been acting up and she had called their provider, Telus, to try and sort hings out. She had gotten a lady who spoke poor English and was insisting that their name, Jones, wasn't on file. She let out a frustrated sigh and repeated their address, phone number and name for the fourth time. There was a pause, and the lady still insisted that they weren't there. She let out an irritated sigh and hung up on the lady, growling about 'learning god damn English.' Casey walked into the living room, then paused, watching his fiancee warily. She looked seriously annoyed as she walked to the TV, smacking it twice.

"Hey, what's wrong babe?" he asked.

"This! The TV and internet aren't fucking working, and when I called Telus I got some bimbo that can't speak English who insisted that we weren't connected to them!"

Casey furrowed his brows carefully, "That's weird. I signed up a few weeks ago. Here, can I see the phone?"

April nodded and tossed it to him, crossing her arms and watching him with an unamused expression. Casey jotted in the office number and called, the call being picked up a few moments later. A young man was speaking to him, and within fifteen minutes things had been sorted out. They were on file, and they were going to sort things out right away. He thanked the guy and hung up, looking at April and shrugging in a, 'What can ya do' kinda way. April let out an annoyed noise and stalked into the kitchen, preparing lunch. As she pulled some veggies and spices out, she heard a voice behind her. Turning around, she saw Raphael standing in the doorway, watching her.

"Hey, Raph!" She said, somewhat surprised.

He grimaced in a way she supposed was to be a smile, so she took that way, "What's up?"

"Want some help?" He asked gruffly, gesturing to the dishes that were starting to pile up.

April, taken aback, said, "Please.. I was just making lunch."

Raphael nodded and headed towards the sink. Silence fell about as he washed the dishes and April cooked. The silence was tense to April, and she racked her brains, trying to think of something to say. As she pulled thawed chicken breasts from the fridge, she saw movement out of the corner of her eye. She turned and saw Raph...sweeping? She looked at the sink, where the clean dishes were already put away and the sink cleaned. He was now cleaning around her. She blinked, and shook her head, taking a package of Shake 'n' Bake out and prepping the chicken. After a moment, she said,

"Thanks for the help, Raph, but you really don't need to. You should go and rest up."

Raph scoffed, "I'm fine."

And that was the end of that conversation. April sighed softly and started chopping some veggies after putting the chicken in the oven. A few moments later, there was silence behind her. She turned and saw that she was alone in the kitchen, the floor swept and table cleared of garbage and clutter. She sighed and went back to cooking. Something was up with the turtles. Ever since they had gotten the news about Leo, which had taken her by surprise too, they were...off. Donnie was silent and reserved, Splinter was either out in the back yard meditating or in Leo's room, and Mikey and Raph were usually locked in their room together. Casey and April were usually the only ones downstairs moving around. She wanted to know what was up, but she knew better then to press. They had one hell of a situation on their hands, and she wasn't about to make things worse. She'd wait until they were comfortable.

Raphael sat on the roof of the cabin, staring off at the woodland around them. He looked at peace, but his mind was far from it. He sat cross legged, hands in his lap holding his mask. He hadn't put it on since Donnie had fixed it, and for some reason...he just didn't want to anymore. He looked down, staring at it. Multitudes of feelings rushed through him and he snarled, throwing the piece of fabric beside him and glaring off into the distance. His mind ran over everything that had happened recently, and started throbbing.

He knew that he wasn't being fair. He was alienating everyone for no good reason, and it was upsetting his family. And in this time especially, he should be doing the exact opposite. But it was a knee jerk reaction. He had so much on his plate right now that he couldn't make sense of on top of...other things, that he couldn't focus on anything. He needed to be alone, but he didn't **want** to be alone. God, he hated feeling like this. He was never good at...feeling.

Sighing, he lay on his back, hands clasped behind his head as he stared up at the sky. It was overcast and chilly, but it was a nice change from the stifling atmosphere inside that damned cabin. The few times he could escape onto the roof was the only times he was outside. The only time he could even begin to think clearly.

He missed New York city. He could barely sleep without the sound of the subway roaring over his head. He missed the polluted air, even, and most of all he missed his home. Mikey had said that once everyone was back up on their feet, Splinter had said that they were to return home and rebuild what the foot had destroyed. April had said they could camp out in their apartment; she barely used it anyways. She'd stop by occasionally to see how they were doing, but that was it. Raph scoffed. Leonardo was going to be out of action for a long time, and by the time that they even get close to that point, he doubted that they could fix it anyways. There had been explosions that took out their entire main living area, for fuckssake. How were they supposed to fix that up? Closing his eyes, he let the cool air roll over his body. It was refreshing, and as far as he knew, he was the only one that knew there was a roof access in the attic. All the better. He was alone and no one could come and bug him.

"Raph?"

 _Fuck._

Casey poked his head up on through the door. He sighed in relief when he saw Raph laying on the roof; he knew that the over grown turtle would be there.

"Food's ready."

Raph heard Casey slip away and let out an annoyed sigh. He wasn't really hungry and he didn't want to go back in there and deal with people. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly, before standing and reentering the house. As he climbed down the latter from the attic, he noticed that Leo's bedroom door was wide open. As he walked past, he heard voices downstairs, and no one in the room with Leo. They were all downstairs eating lunch. He glanced at the stairway, before making a split decision and walking into Leo's room.

The smell of medicine and the beeping of a heart monitor was the only sound in the silent room. Donnie really had some medical experience if he knew how to set these up, let alone build them by hand. He pursed his lips and slowly walked over to Leo's bed, his heart clenching painfully at the sight of his older brother. He was in worse shape then Raph had thought. His skin was a pale green, and his eyes were purpled. His breathing was shallow, and bruises littered his body. He still had quite a few bandages around him, and three IV's were hooked onto his arms.

Raph took a shaky breath, eyes wandering over his broken brother. Instinctively, he reached out and ghosted his fingers over Leo's limp hand, gaze floating down. Seeing Leo like this reminded him of when they were younger and Leonardo got sick. Leo was bedridden for two weeks, a problem fever taking over his head and body, sending him into a fevered fit. Splinter, thankfully, knew what to do due to some medical books he had found laying around the place and Leo recovered. But he was weak when he did, and like now, bruised. The sickness caused blood vessels to pop and made his body prone to developing rather large bruises.

Raph moved closer, slipping his fingers into Leo's limp grasp, squeezing softly. His eyes were wet, and a painful lump rose in his throat.

This was his fault.


	5. Chapter 5 - Surprises

Life was good.

He was back in complete power, and there was nothing that could stop him now.

Especially with those pestilential turtles finally out of the way. Oroku Saki stood on the roof of the foot headquarters, all but his helmet on as he stared out over the city that was now his and his alone. He tilted his head back and let out a triumphant laugh, eyes glittering with evil mirth. He remained in the rooftop, taking in the city that was now his. Sure, in the grand scheme of things this was but a small stepping stone. But it was essential and now he was one step closer to his ultimate goal.

As he turned to return to his throne, he found the door blocked by Karai and two of the foot ninja at her heels. One held a document, and the other held a piece of blue fabric.

"What is it?" he growled, not liking the sinking feeling that he suddenly felt.

Karai cleared her throat, nervous. Saki narrowed his eyes; for Karai to be nervous about telling him something, it had to be serious. And he was not going to enjoy it.

"Well, master, I have news about the turtles. I think yo-"

"What news could you possibly have, Karai? They have been eliminated. That's all there is to it. I was there."

Karai let out a soft little noise of dismay, "Master, you may want to come inside for this."

Leonardo was sitting on the rooftops, his eyes wandering over New York fondly. This was his town. He loved it, and would protect it with every fiber of his being. He heard the patter of footsteps behind him, followed by laughter and voices, and he smiled. His brothers. Another part of this city he would give his life for in a heartbeat. He turned behind him and watched as they interacted, Raphael wrestled with Michelangelo, who let out a squeak as the red masked male trapped him in a headlock. Donatello stood off to the side, shaking his head and chuckling at their antics. Leonardo's smile widened, and he stood, walking towards them.

"Ow, Raph! Okay, I'm sorry!" Mikey spluttered.

Raphael let out a gruff laugh and let Mikey go so abruptly that the younger nearly fell on his face. He straightened and started grumbling unhappily, massaging his neck. Raph smirked and turned to Leo, his eyes clouding over with something that Leo couldn't decipher, but that made his shell shudder. He adverted his gaze quickly and looked over at Donnie, who had turned around and was gazing out at the city.

Night was the only time that the turtles could get out and really be themselves. Anyone who was awake was either too tired to pay attention, or too drunk, which left them free reign on the city's rooftops. They could train in the fresh air, and could just...be free. Of course, within reason. There had been a few times during their nighttime jaunts that they had been careless and their silhouettes had ended up on the Times the next morning. Splinter had been understandably upset, and for a few nights they were banned from going topside. But now they were more cautious, and were free to do as they pleased.

Leo turned and wandered back to the ledge where he had been sitting before and stared out at the city, lowering himself down slowly. He heard Mikey speaking in hushed tones, and heard Donnie mumble something in reply, but he didn't bother trying to listen in. It didn't concern him. After a few moments, he glanced behind him and saw that his brothers were gone. He frowned, narrowing his eyes then relaxing when he saw Donnie and Mikey on the other rooftop, sitting with each other. As long as they were okay and careful, Leo didn't care. Well, and as long as they were in calling range. He turned and looked behind him again, narrowing his eyes. Where was Raph? Frowning, he turned to his right and jumped slightly. Raph was sitting silently beside him, eyes wandering over the rooftops spread out before them. His eyes glittered in reflection of the city lights, and his skin glittered. He was calm, one leg dangling over the edge, the other up against his chest. One of his arms rested over his knee, and the other was planted on the ground behind him. His lips were relaxed, and the light breeze was playing with the tips of his mask. Leo realized he was staring and turned away quickly, feeling his face heat up slightly.

"Nice night, eh?"

Leo glanced at Raph out of the corner of his eye. The younger male was smirking slightly, a mysterious look passing through his eyes. Which were planted right on Leo's face. Leo gulped silently and nodded, pretending to be enthralled with the view. Something about the way that Raph was looking at him was making him jumpy, and he was getting restless all of a sudden. He turned to the left, glancing at where Donnie and Mikey had been moments before, and saw that they were gone. He turned to Raph, then, his brows furrowing ever so slightly.

"Where did Donnie and Mikey go?"

Raphael smirked a little, "Don't worry about them. They headed back to the lair; they were tired."

Leo frowned. Wouldn't Donnie at least have told him that they were heading back? He shook his head. If Raph knew where they were then he wouldn't worry. Donnie could take care of both himself and Mikey.

"We should probably head back too," Leo said after a moment.

Raph let out a soft sigh and Leo glanced over at him. Raph was staring downwards, a weird look on his hard features. He looked like he was fighting a mind battle with himself over something. After a moment, Leo made a move to stand up and Raph jumped, reaching out to try and stop the older. He paused just before his hand connected with Leo's arm, and Leo paused, halfway to standing.

"What?" he asked, raising a brow.

Raph just shook his head silently and dropping his arm. Leo frowned, sitting back down and facing Raph.

"Seriously, what's up?"

He half expected Raph to tell him to fuck off; it wasn't the first time that Leo's attempts to talk to the other male were shot down. But to his surprise, Raph just shifted, dropping the leg from his chest and leaning back on the palms of his hands. He stared up at the sky, pausing before he said,

"Have ya noticed that Mikey and Donnie have been disappearing a lot together over the past few months?"

Leo paused, taken aback. This was far from what Leo had expected to come from the other male. But...he did make a point. The two **had** been disappearing an awful lot together over the past little while. Leo hadn't looked too far into it; he didn't want to invade his brothers' privacy. But now he was a little bit curious.

"Come to think of it, yeah. Why?"

Raph let out a soft little noise and remained silent for a moment, before he said softly, "I'm wondering if they're...you know. Together."

Leo blinked for a second. Together? First of all, they were brothers. Well, not by blood according to a blood test that Donatello had conducted a few years back. But... could they? He glanced out into the night, face clouded with thought. It wasn't like he was against it, but he was a little...confused. It was definitely the last thing that he would ever think of happening in their family. If it _was_ true, after all. Be that as it may, why was that on Raph's mind? He glanced over at said turtle, examining his expression. Raph's brows were drawn together in thought, and his eyes were far away. Leo actually liked this expression; lips parted ever so slightly, cheeks flushed a bit and his eyes lost in thought. He was relaxed and he wasn't as hard or aggressive as usual.

His eyes were glittering from the lights, and even from the side they were...nice. Leo liked Raph's eyes. A lot. They were a soft brown colour that changed shades depending on his moods. They were as familiar as the back of his hand yet so foreign it made his chest hurt a little. And they were now looking right into his, shamelessly boring into his own. Leo's breath caught and his lips parted slightly, now trapped in his brother's gaze. He gulped, forcing some air into his lungs, his gaze clouding at the edges. Was it his imagination or was Raph moving closer to him? And was he moving in too?

It wasn't until he could feel the others' breath against his lips that Leo jumped back, his cheeks flaming and his palms sweaty. Raph froze and watched Leo carefully, hiding the disappointment that started to swell up.

"W-We should go," Leo stuttered, standing up quickly and taking off back in the direction of their lair.

Raph remained where he sat, watching dejectedly as the older hopped a rooftop and disappeared into the night. _Shit._

As Leo fled, he could feel Raph's eyes on him. Even when he knew he was well out of sight, be could still feel them. Everywhere. God, what the hell had happened? They had gone from discussing the possibility of Donatello and Michelangelo dating to nearly kissing. Leo shook his head as he made his way home; something weird was going on.

Donatello let out a small sigh. Leo was healing fast now that he was being cared for the way that he needed to, but it was still slower than Donnie had hoped. It had been a few days since he had gotten Leo hooked up to the IV's and heart monitor, and he was already showing fantastic signs. His skin was a lot healthier, his breathing was even and strong, and he was even starting to show signs of consciousnesses. Donnie leaned back in the seat he was in and watched his older brother, running a hand tiredly over his face. He was exhausted; since hooking Leo up he had barely been sleeping for fear that he would miss something. Good or bad.

He heard a gentle rap on the door and stood, thinking that it was Splinter coming in to check on him. As he padded to the door mid-yawn, he opened it and paused when he saw Mikey standing outside of the door, his baby blue eyes wide and hesitant. Donnie's heart both melted and jumped in relief; Mikey had been ignoring him for Raph for almost a week now and it had hurt. But now he was here, and Donnie was actually happy.

"Hey," Donnie whispered, a soft smile on his face, "What's up, bug?"

Mikey's lips twitched into a small smile at the nickname and he whispered, "Sorry to bother you... I know that you need to take care of Leo...but I brought you some tea."

With that, Mikey lifted a large mug with a sweet smelling liquid in it. Donnie grinned for the first time in a while and took it happily with one hand and wrapped the other one around the shorter.

"Thanks," he mumbled.

Mikey let out a soft laugh and hugged Donnie back tightly, "It's peppermint and ginseng. I hope you don't mind."

Donnie quickly kissed Mikey's forehead, "It's perfect."

Mikey beamed and the two stood there for a few more beats, then Donnie pulled back. Mikey shifted uncomfortably, glancing at his feet before mumbling a soft goodbye.

As Mikey turned to walk away, Donnie reached his arm out, calling him back softly, "Do you want to come in..?"

Mikey turned, eyes widening a little, "Can I? I mean, it won't...you know."

Donnie smiled softly, "No, it's alright if you come in."

Mikey grinned and followed as Donnie turned and walked into the room, pausing when his eyes landed on Leo laying on the bed. The grin faded as he closed the door quietly behind him, hesitantly nearing the bedside. Donatello's heart broke as he watched his youngest brother and lover's expression turn from apprehensive to crestfallen. He set his cup of tea on the table and walked closer to the shorter, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. Mikey leaned into him, silent.

After a few moments, though, the very reason Donnie stayed up finally appeared.

Leo shifted in his sleep, eyebrows furrowing. His lips parted, his voice raw and unused, but his words clear as day,

"Raph, wait..please..."

Mikey froze, his eyes wider then saucers. Donnie's breath caught in his throat and his arms fell away from Mikey. He leaned over his older brother, shaking as he gently called his name. Unfortunately, Leo didn't wake. But he did twitch at Donatello's voice, which made Donnie nearly start vibrating. He was responsive! He could hear them! He turned to Mikey, his eyes brimming. Mikey glanced up in slight confusion, and in that moment he looked a lot younger than he really was.

"He's responding. He can hear us!"

Mikey's grin started slow, then exploded, his body wiggling with happiness.

"So he's going to be okay!?"

Donnie nodded his head and turned to his brother with a small little smile. "Yeah. It'll take a bit for him to fully heal, but he'll be okay."

A few hours later saw Mikey and Donnie sitting by Leo's bedside, nodding off. Mikey's head was resting on Donnie's shoulder, and Donnie's head was resting against Mikey's. Splinter found them like that, fast asleep, and he smiled, gently rousing them.

"Go to sleep, my sons. You need it. I will watch over him."

Neither of them being awake enough to argue, both mumbled a thank you and stumbled out of the room. Donnie reached his room and padded in, followed by Mikey, who kicked the door closed and collapsed on the bed. Donnie stood, sleep slipping from his mind as he watched Mikey sprawl on his mattress. Almost two months without even the most innocent intimacy came flooding through him, and his eyes fluttered. He padded gently towards the bed and lay beside Mikey, reaching out and ghosting his knuckles against Mikey's cheek. Mikey's eyes, closed, opened slowly and met Donnie's, a small, tired little smile on his flushed features. Mikey tilted his head into Donnie's hand, churring softly under his breath and snuggling closer. Eyes stinging, Donnie wrapped his arms around the younger, pulling him in against him. He closed his eyes, hoping that the tear that had escaped wouldn't be noticed by the younger. But of course, after a few more had escaped, Mikey noticed. He shifted so he could look up at Donnie, his eyes soft and clouding with worry. Silently, the younger reached up and pulled Donnie's mask off gently, as well as his own, and threw them over his shoulder carelessly. He pursed his lips and wiped the tears from Donnie's cheeks gently but firmly, in a way that made Donnie heart sick. The tears started falling and Donnie, who had remained strong for his brothers, finally let the wall down. Mikey, not missing a beat, changed the pace and became the leaning post for his lover. He wrapped Don in his arms, holding him as he wept, understanding that he needed this. His own eyes stung, but with every bit of self control he willed them back. As Donnie had done countless times for him, he had to be strong.

Eventually, Donnie cried himself to sleep. Mikey glanced down and, after establishing that the one laying in his arms was asleep, wept silently to himself, sleep finding him not long after.

Morning light peeked through Raph's curtains, pulling him from a dreamless sleep. He blinked the sleep from his eyes and lay in bed, staring up at the ceiling. He missed his hammock. He missed the subway. He missed his home. New York. He even missed Mikey annoying the shit out of him. Most of all, though? He missed hearing Leonardo's voice. Whether it be yelling, laughing, whispering, all of it. He missed it more then he ever would have thought possible. He tilted his head to the side and glared at the door, his face hard as he contemplated. Looking at his digital clock, he sighed in annoyance. It was just past 5 in the morning. He wanted to go and see Leo again.

Standing and stretching, he slipped quietly from the bedroom and padded down the wall to Leo's room. He paused and listened to see if anyone was there. Hearing nothing, he quietly opened the door and crept in, closing the door quietly behind him.

The room was dark, despite the morning sun, the only light being the various little ones from the machines that were keeping Leo alive. He glanced around the shadowed room, concluded there was no one in there for sure, and padded towards Leo's bed. He had just reached the side, when he heard a soft cough to his right. He jumped, eyes wide as he looked around widely. He had been sure that there was no one in the room! He hadn't seen or heard anyone. Unless it was...

Splinter stood from his seat in the far corner and walked towards Raph slowly. That was why he hadn't seen him; the older rat had been sitting in the corner, hidden by the shadows. Raph let out a soft little snort at his own stupidity, and glanced to the side, preparing himself to be reprimanded for sneaking into his brothers room when he wasn't supposed to. To his surprise, Splinter simply placed a hand on his shoulder, nodded, and slipped out of the room without a word. Raph stood, staring at where Splinter had just been standing with a shocked expression. Either Splinter was tired and left things to Raph, or he was...leaving Raph alone with Leo. Meaning that Leo was getting better.

With heavy eyes, he turned and looked at Leo with a weird expression on his face. Slowly, he lowered himself onto the chair was was beside the bed, reaching out and hesitantly grabbing Leo's warm hand. He was silent for a moment, and nearly yelped when Leo's face turned to his. He was still quite obviously asleep, but he was..moving. Raph's heart leapt slightly, lodging in his throat. Raph swallowed hard, before gently speaking. If he was moving around, maybe he could hear now too?

"Leo. Can ya hear me?"

He felt stupid, for some reason, but the feeling soon melted when he saw Leo's face contort with recognition. So he **could** hear him!

Raph wet his lips, then spoke again.

"Leo...If you can hear me, it's me Raph."

"Raph..."

Raphael's eyes widened, his body cold. Leo had just spoken. And said his name. His eyes stung, and he furiously blinked, taking a shaky breath.

"Yeah. Hey, Leo. Uh..."

Raph had no idea what to say next. What did he say to someone who was basically in a coma? He fell silent, absentmindedly rubbing his thumb over Leo's hand. It wasn't until he felt Leo squeeze his hand that he realized what he was doing. He looked up and stared at Leo's face, studying it. There were some bruises, but most of them were healing. The top of his head was still wrapped in a bandage, but as far as he could tell, Leo was looking a lot better. I mean, if he was responsive, that was a good thing, wasn't it? He sat there for he didn't know how long, undisturbed and silent. He squeezed Leo's hand occasionally, smiling every time Leo did the same. Raph scooted the chair close enough that he could lean back and continue holding Leo's hand, then proceeded to lean back and close his eyes, thumb rubbing Leo's knuckles gently.

He didn't know how long he had been nodding off for, but his bladder pinched painfully, reminding him that he needed to relieve it. He reluctantly opened his eyes...and froze. A pair of crystal blue eyes, hazy and half open, were staring at him. His eyes widened and he sat up, jaw falling open. Leo shifted a little, wincing slightly as he glanced around him, confusion settling over his features. Before Leo could say anything, Raph jumped up and shouted,

"Guys! Guys get in here. Leo's awake!"


	6. Chapter 6 - Plans

Oroku Saki stood in his study, staring out the window into the night. So, those blasted turtle pains in his side _had_ managed to survive. His scowl deepened, the creases in his forehead more prominent. He had been positive that they were dead. No matter; their leader, the one with the blue mask, was definitely gone. Karai and the foot had stumbled upon a cabin in which the turtles were hiding. There was no sign of Leonardo; the other three were on their feet and recovering, but still in no shape to plan an attack against him. So he had time to gather himself and plan their death once and for all.

He would _not_ be beaten or humiliated again. Not by them.

This left him free to do as he pleased. And the turtles were under the impression that the Shredder didn't know of their existence. Which meant he, once again, had the element of surprise that he needed. He smirked softly.

"Karai. Exactly where is this cabin?"

Raphael stared at his older brother, his eyes stinging and his heart beating hard. Leonardo's eyes were foggy and slightly bloodshot, but they were the same crystal blue that had haunted him, both while awake and asleep. He watched carefully as Leo's lips parted, his eyebrows creasing in disorientation. He mumbled something that Raphael couldn't make out, his voice scruffy and obviously painful to use.

"D'you want some water?" Raph asked quickly, almost running to the bathroom when Leo nodded his head weakly.

He filled up a glass and as he reached Leo, the rest of the group came into the room. Raph tilted the glass to Leo's lips, watching as the older sipped eagerly. He glanced over his shoulder at his brothers, sensei and friends.

"He's awake," he repeated, breathlessly.

Once Leo had finished drinking, Raph pulled back and set the half empty glass on the bedside table, looking at the others. Casey and April stood near the back, watching with glistening eyes. His brothers stood, glancing between their father, Raph and Leo. Splinter was holding his arm out in front of the two, stopping them from bombaring the edge of the bed and overwhelming Leo. Neither brother argued, remaining silent. Splinter moved forwards, his eyes soft as he grasped Leo's left hand tightly in his own. Leo's features softened slightly, but the confusion remained.

"My son," Splinter murmured, stroking his sons' hand.

"Sensei..." Leo mumbled, "What's...what's going on?"

Mikey stepped forwards, "Dude, we thought you were dead."

Donnie took a few steps up, elbowing Mikey hard in the ribs as he passed, "You've been passed out for a while. We weren't sure when you'd wake up."

Leo glanced around, his eyes lingering on Raphael for a moment that made Raph's heart ache. He shook his head and opened his mouth to speak, but was cut off by Splinter.

"Relax, my son. When you are better, things will be explained. But for now, you need to relax."

Leo eyed his father warily for a second, almost looking like he wanted to argue, but it was obvious he hadn't the energy. He simply nodded after that, sighing slightly and glancing at everyone.

"How long was I out..?" He asked, looking up at his sensei.

"About two months, actually," Mikey said, which earned him another and harder elbow to the ribcage.

Mikey let out a yelp, rubbing his side as Donnie cleared his throat and added hastily, "But it wasn't like you were dying or anything. You were just passed out..."

Everyone pretty much turned and glared at the purple masked male, who cleared his throat and thankfully shut up. Raph suppressed a small laugh and turned to Leo, whose brows had furrowed further.

"Guys...what happened?"

Splinter let out a soft sigh, probably realizing that it was useless trying to keep Leonardo from resting at the moment, and turned, nodding to Donnie curtly. Donatello walked to talked Splinter's place at Leo's bedside, taking a deep breath before carefully regaling Leonardo with the story of the fight with Shredder, his presumed death, the secret of his life, and how he had ended up where he was now. Leonardo lay in silence until Donnie had finished, his expression empty. He stayed silent for a while, looking away from his family and out the left window, his expression vacant. Raph's throat tightened; he knew this look. It was the same look that Leonardo had when he had nearly died once before. Ironically, they had ended up in the same place because of the same person, only this time it was more serious, and it was weighing worse on Leonardo then before. He had let his family down; he was the leader, which meant he was supposed to have saved his brothers, should have kept this very thing from happening. He had failed in his eyes, and there was nothing anybody else could do that would change his mind or make the hurt go away. Raph looked at the floor, crossing his arms and frowning. He hated seeing Leo like this; no matter how many times they fought, how many times they ended up at each others' throats, Raphael would still give anything to make sure that no pain, sadness, anything touched Leonardo. He was his brother, after all. That was how it should be. (He ignored the underlying cause of his feelings. Now wasn't the time for him to go through the tedious and embarrassing way he _actually_ felt.)

After a while, everyone decided to clear the room to let Leo rest. After a few too many unsuccessful attempts at conversation, they grew bored. Splinter and Raphael were the only two remaining, watching Leonardo carefully. He lay silently in bed, still staring out at that window unseeingly. He had barely moved. Raphael glanced over at Splinter and caught his eye, shrugging ever so slightly. Splinter simply blinked and nodded his head, turning and padding from the room a moment later. Raphael let out a soft little sigh, turning to his brother. They were alone now, and Raphael had never felt so uncomfortable and awkward around anyone before. He pursed his lips and glanced around the room, searching for something, anything to break the ice. It turned out that a few moments later he didn't need to.

"What are you still doing here?" Leo mumbled softly, not turning as he addressed his younger sibling.

Raph cleared his throat before he murmured, "I guess I'm here so ya don't feel lonely?"

Leo let out a little, 'hmph' under his breath and fell silent again. Raph wracked his brains.

"Are ya hungry? I could go an' get ya something if ya'd like."

Leonardo shook his head, and once again he was plunged into an awkward silence. His legs were starting to cramp up from standing in one place so long, and he shifted sightly. His knees cracked, and at the sound, Leonardo finally looked away from the window. Raphael's heart clenched at the look in his eyes.

"How long were you sitting here for?" he asked lightly, his eyes seeming to stab into Raph's.

"Er...I'm not sure," Raph mumbled, glancing off to the side.

There was a beep from the IV stand to Leo's left that made the two brothers jump. It was almost like Leonardo had just realized that he had needles in his arm. He frowned a little and looked up at Raph as he walked over to change the morphine bag.

"Was I really that sick?" he asked when Raph had successfully changed it over.

Raphael cast a sideways look at Leo before responding softly, "Yea, bro. Ya were."

Leonardo's eyes looked down again and he fell silent. Raphael stood silently, watching Leonardo with a soft look as he tried to think of something to say or do that would make Leo feel better. Leonardo winced a little and shifted slightly.

"You okay?" Raph asked.

"Yeah. Just got a little bit of a headache."

"Want me to get Donnie to give you some more pain meds?"

Leonardo shook his head sharply then winced a little, "No. I'm okay."

Raphael sighed and walked around to the other side of the room, nearing the door. He was going to give Leonardo a little bit of space...and ask Donnie about upping his morphine dosage. He didn't want Leonardo to be in any pain. As his hand grabbed the doorknob, though, Leonardo called out his name, causing him to stop and glance around. Leo was watching him with a feeble expression, his eyes not quite meeting Raph's.

"Stay a little bit longer..?"

Raphael stared at Leo, his breath hitching in his throat. He nodded after a moment and pushed the door all of the way closed and walking back to the chair beside the bed. He sat down and looked at Leonardo hard, finding it difficult to swallow around the lump that had appeared in his throat. The two were silent for a few moments, and in those moments, Leonardo's eyes managed to find their way up to Raph's and stay there. He let out a soft sigh, glancing off to the side after a moment, his fingers twitching as he closed his eyes. After a few more minutes, he slipped off to sleep. Once Raph had made sure that he was in a comfortable, painless sleep, he reached out and grasped his brothers hand lightly, holding it gently and running his thumb across his swollen knuckles. He watched as his brother slept, refusing to sleep himself as he watched, making sure that Leonardo was alright.

A few hours passed, and Raph was asleep, his head on the side of the bed and his fingers laced with Leo's.

Donatello stepped away from the room, closing the door silently. He turned to Mikey and smiled a little.

"They're alright; they're both asleep."

Mikey sighed in relief, his eyes bright and happy for the first time since...well, these past couple of months. Donnie grinned and reached out, pulling the shorter into a tight embrace. Both of them seemed lighter; a huge weight had been lifted from the moment they had seen Leonardo awake and speaking. Now, the exhaustion they had been repressing came flooding forwards onto them, and the two pulled from the embrace and padded into Donatello's room, closing the door quietly behind themselves. Mikey smiled a little at Donatello, leaning over and kissing the tallers' cheek.

"I'm gonna have a shower before we go to bed, kay?"

Donatello nodded and suppressed a yawn, padding towards the bed, "Yeah, go ahead. I'll be here."

After a moment, in which Donatello heard neither Mikey walking or the bathroom door closing, he glanced behind him in confusion to see a blushing and awkward Mikey standing in the same spot, looking down at the ground.

"What's up?" Donnie asked curiously, worry starting to dully rise.

Mikey shrugged a little and mumbled something that Donnie couldn't make out.

"What?" he asked, taking a few steps forwards.

"You can come and join me...you know, if you'd like.."

Donatello paused and smiled a little, his fatigue leaving him for the moment. How long had it been since the two of them had...been _together?_ A while, and it was obvious it wasn't just Donnie who was feeling it anymore. Smiling a little, Donatello took a step forwards and kissed the younger, kissing him deeply. Mikey let out a soft little moan into the kiss, his arms reaching up and wrapping around Donatello's broad shoulders, pulling their bodies closer. After a moment of heated making out, Donnie pulled back and whispered,

"Go have your shower, quickly, then come back out here."

Mikey looked up at Donnie with a disappointed look in his eyes. Donnie chuckled softly and leaned in, nibbling lightly on the youngers' neck playfully, whispering against his skin,

"Oh, I'm not saying no. I'm simply saying that we'd be heard in the shower. On the bed...not as much."

Mikey let out a soft little churr of pleasure at the olders' words, then nodded and pulled away reluctantly. He turned and headed into the bathroom, glancing over his shoulder before he closed the door. Donatello stood in the middle of the room, his lower regions aching and his eyes drooping. He was tired, but he was also horny as hell. Sighing softly, he turned and sat on the bed, listening as the shower hissed on. A few minutes later, he heard the water turn off again and he frowned. Normally, Mikey's showers were closer to an hour then 10 minutes. Donnie just smiled softly to himself and lay back on the bed, staring at the bathroom door. Mikey slipped out, a towel around his neck and paused, looking at Donatello with an unreadable expression. He smiled, then, the threw his towel to the side, walking to the bed without breaking eye contact. Donnie's cock twitched; Mikey was looking at him in a way that he knew drove Donnie mad. And after almost two months of not having any sort of release, his cock was already hard and standing at attention. Mikey glanced down and smirked at the sight, his own member twitching up into sight.

"C'mere," Donnie muttered, reaching out to the younger male and pulling him down ontop of him.

The two kissed, gently at first, but growing in passion and need. Mikey let out a soft little moan as Donnie nibbled his bottom lip, and Donnie groaned in response, lifting his hips to grind against the other. Mikey let out a little sigh, his hips moving in rhythm with Donnie's. After a few moments of this torture, Donnie gently grabbed Mikey and switched their positions, pinning the shorter down on the bed with a soft, seductive churr. Mikey smirked a little and looked up at Donnie with his bright blue eyes, clouded over with lust. Donnie mirrored the expression, reconnecting their lips in a desperate lock, eliciting another moan from the other male. Their erections rubbed against each other with a glorious friction that made them both let out little noises of pleasure.

This furious make out session lasted only a few minutes more, before Donatello became impatient. He pulled back, littering kisses across Mikey's jaw, neck, collarbone and down his plastron. Mikey let out a soft little sigh, watching as Donatello dipped lower and lower, his cock twitching in anticipation. His cheeks were flushed and his eyes half lidded; a look that he knew Donatello loved. Said male kissed lower until he reached Mikey's arousal, looking up and locking eyes with Mikey. Donnie's pink tongue darted out, licking the length slowly and teasingly. Mikey tilted his head back and let out a soft little whimper, lifting his hips impatiently. Donnie let out a soft little snicker and gripped the base with his hand, wrapping his lips around the head and sucking softly, taking the length into his mouth at an agonizingly slow pace. Mikey let out a low moan, his dick twitching. Donnie closed his eyes and swirled his tongue around the head, before relaxing his gag reflex and swallowing the other male, who arched his back at the feeling, letting out another little moan. Donnie sucked a little longer, before pulling away when he knew that Mikey was getting close. Said male let out an impatient little moan, opening his eyes and staring reproachfully up at Donnie.

Leaning forwards, Donnie reconnected their lips in a hot kiss, positioning himself at Mikey's entrance, poking slightly. Mikey spread his legs, shifting down slightly and kissing Donnie hard. After a moment, Donatello slipped a finger down against Mikey's entrance, teasingly circling it before pushing a finger in. Before he could follow with a second one and prepare the younger, Mikey reached down and pulled his hand away, murmuring,

"Just take me."

Donnie paused for a moment, wanting to argue. But his arousal was getting to him, and he simply nodded his head and spit on his hand, slicking his cock. Normally, he would never have done anything quite so undignified as spitting, but they hadn't any lube anymore, and they were both in a bit of a rush. So fuck it. Donnie positioned himself at Mikey's entrance, leaning down and kissing the other male hard. He started pushing in slowly, letting out a low moan at how tight Mikey was. No matter how many times they had done this before, each time was like the first all over again, and Donnie loved the feeling.

Mikey stiffened; it did hurt, but he wasn't too worried about it. He let out a soft moan and wrapped his arms around Donnie's shoulders, burying his face in the crook of the tallers' neck, arching his hips so that the older had better access. Once Donnie was in, he paused and waited for Mikey to adjust. Once he had, Mikey shifted his hips up, and Donnie pulled out slowly, before pushing back in. Donnie picked up speed and fell into a rhythm that Mikey mirrored, lifting his hips in time to meet Donnie's thrusts. Before long, Mikey's insides began to clench, and he knew he wasn't going to last much longer. He let out a low groan which turned into a loud moan as he came, spilling himself over both his and Donnie's plastron. Donnie's release was not far behind, the clenching from the younger sending him over the edge.

Once their highs had worn off, Donnie pulled out slowly and collapsed beside the younger, yawning and physically drained. He reached over lazily and grabbed Mikey, pulling him into a lazy hug. Mikey laughed and, suppressing a yawn, pushed Donnie away gently.

"Hey, I''m not sleeping like this! I'm all gross and leaking," he said laughing.

Donnie yawned again, his eyes already closed. He mumbled something unintelligible, to which Mikey rolled his eyes. He waddled into the bathroom and proceeded to clean himself up, walking back into the bedroom with a roll of toilet paper. When he reached the bed to hand Donnie the roll, the sounds of soft snoring met his ears and he smiled softly. Donnie had to be seriously wiped to fall asleep without cleaning himself off first. Mikey tore off a few squares of the roll and leaned over, cleaning his lovers' chest off. Once done, he threw the dirty clump in the garbage and set the roll on the bedside table, crawling into bed and yawning, his eyes drooping. Donnie mumbled in his sleep and rolled over, pulling Mikey into his arms, who smiled and snuggled up happily.

In that moment, it seemed like everything was falling back together.

At least, in that moment.


End file.
